Yes I have decided to come back

Don't worrie , I wont post any of my works in the " Major works " section...;)

Well the past few weeks I was working on two orchestral works in D minor.

The first one " A paryer " is ready and I'll post that.

The second one I'm still working on it.

So there it goes :

A prayer In D minor :

what I see as a weakness here is the sudden changes in texture, like where the strings stop, or the harp suddenly drops out of the texture.

You seem to like changing rythmes suddenly. I can't say that for the idiom in which you are writing it works particularly well. It gives mroe a sense of blockiness and patched-together-ness (excuse the neologism).

There are some parallel octaves that sound out of place, like when the strings come into unison with the oboe. It takes away from whatever richness your harmony might have had.

It's a bit of a shame, because the underlying idea is quite pretty.

what I see as a weakness here is the sudden changes in texture, like where the strings stop, or the harp suddenly drops out of the texture.

You seem to like changing rythmes suddenly. I can't say that for the idiom in which you are writing it works particularly well. It gives mroe a sense of blockiness and patched-together-ness (excuse the neologism).

There are some parallel octaves that sound out of place, like when the strings come into unison with the oboe. It takes away from whatever richness your harmony might have had.

It's a bit of a shame, because the underlying idea is quite pretty.

There is no weakness no where here. I as a composer write the work carefully knowing full well what I'm doing. I decide where to make it rich or where to limit the overall sound. I am the captain of my work and the music plays what I choose to write. You telling me that the music is " weak " because it doesn’t sound rich to you. This is hardly a critic. I couldn’t care less how rich it may or may not sound to you. As far as I’m concerned I write what I choose and I’m not here to make every composer or listener "Agree" with the way I choose to write. "Richness" in music is a subjective analysis that depends on the listener and is not a matter or universal acceptance. Same goes for "depth". I’m tired of all those mediocre "critics" that claim that a piece lacks " depth". They have no idea what they're saying because "Depth" can be felt on an individual basis, another words its subjective. What one listener would call "deep" another would dismiss as "Passive" or "earthy".

The bottom line is that I write what I want to write to express what I feel with music. You want "Richness" ? You want " Depth" ? Do you also want "parallel octaves that do not sound out of place"? Then hire me to write some music for your project.. And then I will be more then glad to write the music according to your specifications and tastes.

Again, thanks for listening and for your comments.

With Best Wishes,

Saul Dzorelashvili

Saulsman I see what you mean about all that, but still, Qccowboy was making some very valid points, that if I might say I agree with, and you don't need to try to shove it in his face by saying that he is "mediocre critic" or stuff like that. Also I have found out that there is always two good things you can do with any comment, 1. Ignore it or 2. Take it into consideration, theres no reason to try and throw it into there face. So now onto the piece.

I find that everything that Qccowboy has said I agree with, plus I find you are seeming to have a problem with note fitgue which makes the piece rather boring. Change the key a few times. Maybe put it into a major key? Also I have a humongus problem with the constant change of texture. Please do something that is more constant. So thats my bit.

Best wishes,

Fegane

Saulsman I see what you mean about all that, but still, Qccowboy was making some very valid points, that if I might say I agree with, and you don't need to try to shove it in his face by saying that he is "mediocre critic" or stuff like that. Also I have found out that there is always two good things you can do with any comment, 1. Ignore it or 2. Take it into consideration, theres no reason to try and throw it into there face. So now onto the piece.

I find that everything that Qccowboy has said I agree with, plus I find you are seeming to have a problem with note fitgue which makes the piece rather boring. Change the key a few times. Maybe put it into a major key? Also I have a humongus problem with the constant change of texture. Please do something that is more constant. So thats my bit.

Best wishes,

Fegane

I have not said that he is a "mediocre critic"... what made you say that?

I read his info.. he is a music teacher, there is nothing "mediocre" about that. I said that I'm tired of mediocre critics , him not included. Ok..thats clear now.

You said "humongus problem with the constant change of texture".

Ok next time I'll write the piece in a way that doesnt give you "Huge problems". We dont want you to have any problems.

Cheers,

Saul

First off, I agree with Qccowboy, the texture just is their one second and then the next it is gone. Change in texture can be a great tool or a great enemy, here it doesn't really help. It confused me more than anything, all but one or two instruments seemed to just stop playing, it was like part of the orchestra just went missing. I did like some of the ideas you had in the piece though. Let the listener have something to hold onto, you give them some texture and then take it away, let them keep it for awhile.

Also, posting your piece here and asking comments for it and then just throw them back at the critic is no way to make friends or to get good comments, especially when you do so to a well-respected member of this forum such as Qccowboy, everyone here is just trying to help.

First off, I agree with Qccowboy, the texture just is their one second and then the next it is gone. Change in texture can be a great tool or a great enemy, here it doesn't really help. It confused me more than anything, all but one or two instruments seemed to just stop playing, it was like part of the orchestra just went missing. I did like some of the ideas you had in the piece though. Let the listener have something to hold onto, you give them some texture and then take it away, let them keep it for awhile.

Also, posting your piece here and asking comments for it and then just throw them back at the critic is no way to make friends or to get good comments, especially when you do so to a well-respected member of this forum such as Qccowboy, everyone here is just trying to help.

I have nothing against Qccowboy.Sorry if that

The texture of the harp could be extended one measure and built off by using some notes of the harp at the key points of the following measures.

This whole texture thing was done carefully to achieve a certian Idea and sentiment.

Saulsmusic, I do understand that you have nothing against Qccowboys comment, since you have made it quite clear after being commented on the same thing by two other members. Why even bring up this medicore critique in the first place?

Anyways, enough of that, to the piece. Your way of changing texture has been question. I have nothing against sudden changes since it can give nice effects. Problem here is that you use it too much, the ear gets tired of it and then it gets redundant and highly uninteresting for the ear. What you could do, if you'd like to, is to smoothen out a few of the transitions to give the ear a pause from it.

Hey Saul. Why did you post the file if you did not want to be critiqued? Did you only want praise? That's too bad.

The detached-ness of your melody makes it sound as if the flute/oboe was taking a breath between notes in some places where it didn't sound right.

But then again, you are the "master" of your music, so I'll let you be :w00t:

:( good to hear from you as well...

If you're posting music on this site, please be prepared for criticism, whether you agree with it or not. I believe that Qccowboy has a better understanding of music than you do and you should be honoured to learn from what he has to say. I work with another composer and once every while (not very often), when I give him something I've been labouring on and he gives it back with all sorts of scribbles, circles and comments all over the score I take his comments to heart and try and improve my piece for next time even if I don't agree with everything. I don't go: O, you have no idea what you're talking about. The piece is SUPPOSED TO SOUND BAD! Yes, that was my intention. See these mistakes over here? They're not really mistakes because they're intentional.

Whenever my teachers Bill Shookhoff or Dr. Sullivan say something I really listen to what they have to say. After all, we're all young. We have a lifetime to learn and perfect. Most composers write they're best music near the end of their life after all. I hate to sound corny but: it's all one big lesson.