Hi @Kvothe,
I agree on everything Peter said. The first theme is lovely but the cross relation in the middle section is a bit not fitting to the style. Apart from all what he said, I think the retransition back to the 1st theme's c minor is a bit confusing. I think for G major to modulate back to C minor would not be really difficult since G major is itself the dominant of C minor! Maybe you just have to introduce the minor 9th chord of G major (G, B, D, F, Ab) and that's enough for the modulation! But instead you have E minor chord placed before the C minor and there's no dominant chord for the preparation of C minor, so its return is quite abrupt for me!
Thx for sharing!
Henry