ferrum.wav

after two WEEEKKKS, the revision is finally DONEEEEEEEEEE (definitely longer than a few days lmao) i ended up investing more time on this but its definitely worth it cus i do think is so much better. a lot of it was just changing the boring accompaniment to make it more interesting rather than repeat one to one. the new version highlights those peaks on phrases, added more rooms to breathe, and variations!! im definitely spent on this damn piece but is out now so ENJOYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! here's the OLD version for comparison, NEW version is on the main post at the top of this thread. To Fantasize Contentment OLD.mp3 To Fantasize Contentment OLD.pdf

duuudee i just read about this on a book as well and i already fumbled on this piece lmao. but yeah, i also agree, the accompaniment patterns are monotonous and definitely one of the primary subjects of revision!!! need some punctuation and need to highlight the peak of phrases more often thanks for the feedbacks @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have started doing some revisions on this, adding extra variations on the repeated oboe part (and some on the piano). hopefully this will fix the repetitiousness and make it more interesting but not entirely make the themes unrecognizable. should be finished in a few days !! funny you mentioned that. i had listened to that and strauss' oboe concerto and checked out how they treat the oboe before i composed this lmao thanks for the feedback guys !! glad you both enjoyed it

this is a bit of a vent piece and a self-soothing one. ive realized that one of my uses of composition is as means of escapism too. also keeping the titling convention of "To ...." of my woodwinds pieces. to look at your phone, to scroll through social media, to see strangers go out, doing activities with their friends and partners, to observe their poses as they look ever so content, to envy their posted achievements of their life, to fantasize how it would look like if you were out there having your own fun, to then have a dilemma of the smokes and mirrors of social media, to realize these posts are just highlights of their special days, to notice and understand their hidden struggles behind the pictures, yet, despite all of that, they still had those days. they still had the reminiscence of their experience. they still experienced them while youre here, stuck, as the world moves so fast around you, as you fantasize your own contentment alone. enjoy. feedbacks are welcomed. NEW VERSION IS OUT!!!!!!!!! check it out :> To Fantasize Contentment NEW.mp3 To Fantasize Contentment NEW.pdf

well less than a month later, i finally had the chance to comment on the piece more it definitely sounds operatic. i could definitely see this being like one of the first numbers of an opera. i could also imagine the orchestral sounds coming from the piano. the piece fits the text well. i like the subtle harmonic changes when the text sings the notice of a change, it feels like the desire to comprehend the changes around them. its gradual as well, from a month, two months, four months, as it leads to a climax. i like that the question at the end is cleverly treated as a punctuation, both in the music and in the text, before the final cadence. i like the sketch as well, its definitely virtuosic but i like the effective use of the piano figure as it travels to different harmonic context. the little introduction before the main stuff is also a good contrast to accentuate the preceding section. thanks for using my less than desirable poems lmao, and writing a little sketch dedicated to me!!

dudeeee this is the coolest sh*t. ive never had a work dedicated to me before and with words from my own old poetry writing too? i'll have a lot more to say but for right now like, thank you so much!!!

its kinda rare for me to wake up and immediately try to respond to a comment first thing in the morning, but here we are i disagree. i'd argue the empty spaces are there to let the music breathe, and i have considered of keeping the "movement" going in one way or the other, either by the piano playing scales, rapid lines, the syncopated triplets, arpeggiando on the strings, timpani rhythms, etc. also, i dont think every empty space has to be filled with motivic movement. does every piece has to have a melody "naked"? and i pretty sure have varied the harmony and texture. the first introduction to the full theme its literally just pizz. string and high register piano playing 6th broken up (which adds movement, by the way), the repeat of which (b.194) just removes the piano entirely, the first entrance of the second theme is played by cello only, with piano and pizz violin to accentuate the syncopated rhythm, the measures before that is another thinning of textures after a loud section, etc etc. i mean, i like it, so...oh well lol yeah, the themes are long and therefore had to be repeated. however, if i cut those repetitions the themes wouldnt be prominent. hell i did in fact cut the first theme in the repetition. most of the systems include 2-4 bars, with the exception of a few bars where there are few notes to play. i do not think crowding is an issue here. response: added references: and probably more. i couldnt find anything outside facebook discussions to be honest. HOWEVER, most of the chamber pieces including a piano that i've score read have the non-piano instruments be in smaller staves. response: also note, i'd rather have a seemingly impossible part and have to revise them after some feedbacks than not using the instruments to its fullest potential. part of why i fell in love with classical music is that you can get SO MUCH out of one singular instrument. the fact that composers have exploited many ways out of an instrument to serve their vision is so fascinating to me. maybe its innocent for me to think that way. of course, you have to consider the performer and the rehearsal, but, im gonna be real, i dont think this piece is ever gonna be performed. AND, if it was, or if i were to compose a piece that WILL be performed, then yes, i'll absolutely not go overboard and stuff, strip down the techniques, and be more lenient with them. this DOES NOT mean i do not think of idiomatic writing (refer to the my quoted response). also 6 bars of left hand open strings pizzicato played near the edge of the fingerboard is impossible? but, as all art are, it comes down to taste. so, fair enough thanks for the comments!!!

just incase i need to review my own piece for that heavyweight badge Melodies Themes Motives 0 Harmony Chords Textures 0 Form Development Structure Time 0 Originality Creativity 0 Score Presentation 0 Instrumentation Orchestration Playability 0 Execution of Given Challenge 0 Taste 0 Average Score: 0 this sucks never compose again

i'd say this piece does a good job at portraying a somber afternoon. the simple viola melody guides the piece straightforwardly while the accompaniment of the orchestra stills. the score is a bit confusing to read, i feel: random ottava lines, inverted beams of the notes.i also question the playability of some of the violins passages but overall, its not bad!! some of the contrasts work well and they're effective! good jobb Melodies Themes Motives 8 Harmony Chords Textures 3 Form Development Structure Time 5 Originality Creativity 3 Score Presentation 5 Instrumentation Orchestration Playability 4 Execution of Given Challenge 5 Taste 3 Average Score: 4.5

i do kinda hear the vision with the motifs, and it is recognizable. but thats kinda it ngl its a bit of (sry if its too mean lol) kinda fun to listen to though Melodies Themes Motives 3 Harmony Chords Textures 3 Form Development Structure Time 1 Originality Creativity 10 Score Presentation 1 Instrumentation Orchestration Playability 3 Execution of Given Challenge 1 Taste 3 Average Score: 3.12

this piece has that anger, yknow? thatof one losing a sheep and getting angry and sad, a cycle of grief. speaking of, it kinda represents the stages of grief, with the acceptance at the end. i imagine the contrast in this piece is like this shepherd, high in the mountain and he's mad to himself, alone, with nothing but his taragot. the different sections are distinguishable and the pacing is enjoyable. the contrasts between the sections are prominent and surprised me a bit sometimes lol. the theme and instrumentation certainly helps with this. its distinctive and full of characteristics. those low C string cello notes are powerfullll, same with the english horn and the high E string violin (again, effective contrast). absolutely using the instruments at their advantage me love chromaticsm porridge. the use of dissonance is very effective!!! the piece has a wide array of the dissonance range (soft to hard dissonances) and its usage is appropriate. i highkey like this piece Melodies Themes Motives 10 Harmony Chords Textures 10 Form Development Structure Time 10 Originality Creativity 8 Score Presentation 10 Instrumentation Orchestration Playability 10 Execution of Given Challenge 10 Taste 8 Average Score: 9.5

mmmh, warmth, the thing that one can feel, the snug and fuzzy and cozy feeling deep down inside, the senses you feel as you walk through fallen yellow leaves in autumn, maybe at start of a new chapter in one's life. i can definitely say for certain that this piece invokes exactly that. this style is simple and direct. it communicates effectively with the listeners about what it wants to express. unfortunately, as with @ComposaBoi , im not into this style very much. thats why im giving you low scores in originality and taste (sorryyyyy) the themes are presented clearly and the interplay between the instruments are balanced. the middle section kinda wanders a bit but the recognizable theme pulls it back. score is pretty clear, i do agree with @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu with the two repeated notes staccato instead of the tremolos. i guess you can do with the tremolos but instead of one staccato dot, its two. though i do prefer the first option. Melodies Themes Motives 10 Harmony Chords Textures 6 Form Development Structure Time 7 Originality Creativity 5 Score Presentation 9 Instrumentation Orchestration Playability 10 Execution of Given Challenge 10 Taste 4 Average Score: 7.75

this sounds very outgoing. it does sound like going on a hike on a big mountainous region. i imagined those accented chords in the beginning as one seeing the big trees and gets a little overwhelmed by them. loooooove the harmonic color in this, very distinct and pretty. the chaotic contrapuntalness of this reminds me of richard strauss a bit ngl lol the 16th notes flourish on b.5 and scattered throughout is a bit questionable. i have seen those figures before and heard that its awkward to play. the inclusion of flute amongst the string quartet is unique, but i do think is buried against the quartet sometimes with those low register notes clashing against the loud dynamic strings. moreover, as @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu have said, i do think it couldve had the spotlights in more sections. with contrasts, i do notice them! they're not very stark but appropriate for a ~5 mins piece. score is Melodies Themes Motives 8 Harmony Chords Textures 10 Form Development Structure Time 8 Originality Creativity 10 Score Presentation 9 Instrumentation Orchestration Playability 8.5 Execution of Given Challenge 10 Taste 9 Average Score: 9.0625 end note: when i accidentally point at the top of a mountain but im just describing this piece

i definitely can paint a landscape with this piece!! from the mechanical movements of the historical train to a stroll along a garden complex, it encapsulates the journey effectively. i like the depiction of the moving train itself using the tremolos and the wandering upward melody line. that upward melody line here signifies a "progress" i think? the B section is about taking a stroll through a garden complex and i notice it being used there but slowed down. the contrast between machines and nature is very clear: the mechanical dissonant of the old train and railway machinery is contrasted against the light wandering melody of the B section. the nightingale depiction with the trills is also neat. i wish the strings got a more prominent presence here!! theyre mainly used as a doubling with a piano and overshadowed by the two pianos imo. those low thirds on the cello (b8) might be difficult. its fun to read the score because how the programme is woven into it. i like reading what one passage is supposed to represent. and lastly, the story is just so simple yet warm. you take an old historical train in the evening to a garden and notice some nightingales, d'awwwww how cozy and nice i love itttt Melodies Themes Motives 8 Harmony Chords Textures 8 Form Development Structure Time 10 Originality Creativity 9 Score Presentation 8 Instrumentation Orchestration Playability 10 Execution of Given Challenge 10 Taste 8 Average Score: 8.9 end note: how i feel when describing the story

i like the usage of chinese instruments here. definitely unique and original. i will choose to not grade the playability since i do not know the intricacies. the score is definitely readable, but it lacks a lot of things (dynamics, articulation, etc.). the resulting look is very bare. i could not hear any memorable/distinct themes/subjects as they are not presented well. sure, there are contrapuntal lines, but they are just that, lines. without noticeable melodies to cling onto, the lines fall flat imo. one can probably notice upon further score inspection (or multiple listens), but i do have to consider the first couple of listening experience as well. furthermore, i couldnt associate the piece with the given pictures, other than it sounds chinese. the piece leans heavily into pentatonic, but there is also no clear harmonic direction. it feels aimless. good contrapuntal writing though! Melodies Themes Motives 2 Harmony Chords Textures 2 Form Development Structure Time 3 Originality Creativity 7 Score Presentation 4 Instrumentation Orchestration Playability N/A Execution of Given Challenge 3 Taste 2 Average Score: π (3.14, not the exact value of the pi decimal preceding it, but still lol)