Need Help With Rock Song Lyrics

It called Rock n Rolling For The Ages

Here what I got :

Rock n Rolling For The Ages

Intro: Guitar Solo

1st Verse: It's 1969 wow

The Beatles rocking fine now

It's just about their final show wow

We need to bring this rock back now

Pre-Chrous:The music now (ow) What a terrible sound

What do we need this century?

The music now (ow) What a terrible sound

Finally we're going to bring back this rock now !

Chrous: Rock (rock)

Rock n rolling for the ages

Rock (rock)

Rock n rolling for the ages

Rock (rock)

Rock n rolling for the ages

Rock (rock)

Rock n rolling for the ages

Rock n rolling for the

Rock n rolling for the

Rock n rolling for the ages

2nd Verse: How about the 1970's ?

Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody

Led Zeppelin is making the stairway heavenly

People are rocking out Detorit rock city

(new) AC DC making TNT

Pink Floyd Wishes You Were Me

Black Sabbath is the Iron Man

We need to bring this rock back now

Pre-Chrous:The music now (ow) What a terrible sound

What do we need this century?

The music now (ow) What a terrible sound

Finally we're going to bring back this rock now !

Chrous: Rock (rock)

Rock n rolling for the ages

Rock (rock)

Rock n rolling for the ages

Rock (rock)

Rock n rolling for the ages

Rock (rock)

Rock n rolling for the ages

Rock n rolling for the

Rock n rolling for the

Rock n rolling for the ages

(new)

3rd Verse: Spandex is from the 1980's

Van Halens getting all the ladies

Bon Jovi, is just livin on a prayer

Journey, they never stopped believing

poison, where every rose had its thorn

twisted sisters, they weren't going to take it

Any help for it to grow? Please and thank you

I, for one, get bored if the rhymes become too repetitive. Since your rhymes in the first verse (wow and now twice) don't seem to really have anything to do with the actual lyric, why don't you try to go with a different rhyme for that verse, especially since "-ow" is the main rhyme for your pre-chorus.

In the second verse I could go into all sorts of details about the rhymes, but what you're doing is cute, so it doesn't really hurt. However, "city" does not have emphasis on the "ee" part, which is where you're trying to rhyme it. Either the last line of that won't rhyme, or the word "city" will be unintelligible if you force the word to make it rhyme.

Why does the potential "century" rhyme in the pre-chorus go away? Think of all of the fun you could have with that rhyme! "Penitentiary" comes to mind immediately. It might be the kind of thing where the pre-chorus stays the same every time, except for the "century" rhyme, which is a fun way to get the listener into "chorus" mode, but also keep them on their toes.

I can't tell if the chorus is good or not without hearing the music.

I think what you've got is good to ride you through a song. Maybe more clever quips and social statements. Beware of making it a "list" song. If you're just listing your favorite artists, it will get boring. It seems like you have something to say about it, so make sure you get that in your lyric. Don't take it for granted that your audience agrees with you, try to really convince them that this music wasn't junk like everyone may have said it was back then. Cite the longevity the artists have had, cite the power that the music had on its people.

The 80s is up next in your lyric. I know a lot of people think 80s rock sucked. Do you? What about some not-so mainstream bands in the 80s that may have done better material and didn't get recognized?

And why doesn't the song start in the 50s? Wouldn't that be more appropriate? Maybe bring in some reference to its descent from jazz and the blues.

You're going to need a bridge, maybe two, to take us out of the straight historical thing. That would be a good time to get some philosophizing in. Where does R&B or hip-hop land in the grand scheme of this? What about Rock 'n' Roll's predecessors? Where do you think it's possibly headed? And please, please, PLEASE mix up the rhyme scheme a little in the bridge. I understand that the drive of this song lends itself to an "AAAA" scheme, but if you go with a more retrospective bridge, that lends itself to something more complex, even if it's "ABAB." Also, writing more complex rhymes forces you to think further ahead in the lyric, and your lyric won't sound like it rambles on aimlessly, but will have more cohesive statements and therefore have a greater impact.

I think this is a cool idea for a song, but make sure it doesn't fall into the category of sappy nostalgia. I think you have something to say about today and right now, and make sure the song is relevant. Otherwise it will be charming for a bit and then disappear.

Hope this helps!

i'd say, add some creativity..

meaning, drop the contrived rhymes, for right now it feels as it were written by a 14yr old writing it's first lyrics.

don't get me wrong, it's ok to rhyme, but like everything else in life, use it with moderation.

lyrics written by 14 year olds can be good too. you never know, if someone has talent....

anyways, about your lyrics, the syllabication in the first verse is strange. if you've already set it to music or have a melody in mind and it works, then thats okay. but if you have no music/melody then you might have problems in the future. right now the first line is 7 syllables, second is 7, third is 9, and fourth is 8. also, the syllibication in the first verse doesn't match the second verse. the second verse is 10/8/12/11. if it works with your melody, thats okay, but again, you might have some problems in the future if not.

by the way, i totally LOVE the theme of the song. i agree with what you're saying, and i think many other people will too. just keep working on it. :D

I've never heard the word "syllabication" before... is that a real word? I don't care! I love it!

Thx for the posts you guys! If you want you can edit the one I already have. So we can keep making better and better

Not to sound rude, but I think you've gotten some pretty solid criticism here which gives you a lot to work toward. It's your song, not ours. Why don't you edit the lyrics and then come back with the new and improved song? Maybe even a sound file to listen to?

The concept for the song is pretty cool.

The lyrics are unpredictable, which is good.

But they're also somewhat cheesy, which usually isn't good.

Maybe you can get your hands on a rhyming dictionary, but try to come up with lines that no one's ever really thought of before. For example:

That must be her again

She's leaning on my bell

That cold psychotic ring

The one I know so well

So I'm nailed to the floor in the no-option zone

There's about zero chance she'll give up and go home

Suggestion: read some Edgar Allen Poe or something, listen to some Steely Dan, The Beatles, and think about it.

~Kal

_Hey, i just noticed how that 'city' line works, Pangloss. The stress is on "rock," so it would be like rockcity, similar to rhapsody. Which I think is pretty clever. KUDOS for that line....:thumbsup:

My point being that the stress in the word "city" lands on the first syllable, where the rhyming portion of the word lands on the second. If the word is pronounced properly (SIT-ee) then it doesn't rhyme. If the stress is moved to the second syllable (as you compared to the word "rhapsody") then the word is not being pronounced correctly, and there's more room for error in understanding the lyric. No one pronounces the word "si-TEE." Bad scansion will pull the audience out of the song if they have to stop and think about what the word was rather than just listen.

I think scansion is one of the most important things in lyric writing, because without it, the audience can't understand what you're saying.

I think scansion is one of the most important things in lyric writing, because without it, the audience can't understand what your saying.

Grammar's pretty important too, brah.

I do agree, but I think scansion's even more important. There are places and ways to forsake grammar because of a style or a joke. However, sans scansion, you're lost.

Reread.

Grammar's pretty important too, brah.

brah rape?

Congratulations on your excellent first post. Welcome to YC. Now post music.

*Bangs head against wall*

You know, I read my post over three or four times, because it sounded like you were commenting on my grammar, but I couldn't find anything.

Until the fifth time.

You must excuse me, it's been a long day of teaching. I'll fix that straight away.

*Bangs head against wall*

You know, I read my post over three or four times, because it sounded like you were commenting on my grammar, but I couldn't find anything.

Until the fifth time.

You must excuse me, it's been a long day of teaching. I'll fix that straight away.

Heh, if everything else wasn't so flawless, I wouldn't have had to pick on that minor detail, but you made me do it. :D

My point being that the stress in the word "city" lands on the first syllable, where the rhyming portion of the word lands on the second. If the word is pronounced properly (SIT-ee) then it doesn't rhyme. If the stress is moved to the second syllable (as you compared to the word "rhapsody") then the word is not being pronounced correctly, and there's more room for error in understanding the lyric. No one pronounces the word "si-TEE." Bad scansion will pull the audience out of the song if they have to stop and think about what the word was rather than just listen.

I think scansion is one of the most important things in lyric writing, because without it, the audience can't understand what you're saying.

The stress could still be on the first half of 'city,' but more emphasis would be on the "rock" - city would be more like an afterthought, almost the point that there was no stress on any part of the word at all....

~Kal

I added some more parts. See first post. Also Please dont be afraid to change anything you want with it.