Lullaby (PLEASE COMMENT)

This is my new composition: Lullaby for a choir, oboe, and piano.

The Finale .MUS is at: Lullaby.mus - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

The Music File is at: Lullaby.mp3 - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

PDF File is at: Finale PrintMusic 2009 - [Lullaby.pdf - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

If you have any suggestions on lyrics, please comment and tell me.

P.S. The music file is midi because I don't really have a choir at my disposal.

PLEASE COMMENT... I HAVE OVER 60 VIEWS AND NOT ONE COMMENT... PLEASE

P.S.S. I've been asked about the price that's on the music. It is not for sale as of now so it's serving as a placeholder.

Revision in process

It is nice and pretty (this comming from only the midi). I think that pulled off the making a lullaby; it is soothing.

When the choir wasn't playing, I felt like it just sat there waiting for it to come in again. That is fine for what it is I guess, but at points I felt like kind of board with being in the same place the whole time. Take me somewhere.

Keep it up. :thumbsup:

Thank you for Commenting I've really been waiting for someone to comment.

Very relaxing and soothing.

The oboe part I found to be espicially pretty.

I enjoyed this piece.

Thank you for Commenting I've really been waiting for someone to comment.

Yeah, it is the funny thing about this site. You kind of have to pay your dues. Commenting on a bunch of peoples works and participating in the rest of the community slowly brings people to your music.

It is a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch your's" kind of community!

Well I'm trying to get myself noticed... Right now I'm very glad two for two liked it.

OK, you want some comments. I sometimes get hundreds of views but only around 10 comments in the end.

I listened to it and followed the score and found some interesting things in the choir part. The main one is the fact the words have disappeared 1/2 way down page 2 and the choir simply ends up with notes but no words to sing.

"Let your mind rest and think happiness" section has more syllables than notes in the Alto part! They are also in the wrong location and should be below the Alto part.

The tune is OK. You mentioned about keeping quiet as after all it is a lullaby, but I am not convinced those Sops will keep that top A quiet. Same goes to the top E (middle E) you gave to the basses - it's too high a note for the them to sing quietly unless you want them to go into falsetto. It is however more of a Tenor note than a bass or baritone.

What do you mean by "let ring" at the end? You can let a bell ring or chimes etc... but an oboe? Also, watch those slurs. Slurs in choral music should only be used to indicate more than one note to a syllable such as a-----men would have x amounts of notes under "a" and these notes would all be slurred. Of course, slurs should never be confused with ties and phrase marks.

I have to admit that the Alto part isn't the most exciting of all the parts. Did you do the other parts first then used the Alto to fill in any gaps chord-wise? I would have given the Alto a little more flowing part, even melismas around the Es and Ds whilst giving say the Tenor part a more static one.

I realise that the ending should be quiet, but pppp whilst singing might be a little too OTT, especially if you want to hear the words pronounced as this level of volume it might be a little too blurry.

Generally it's OK but a little too long. Whilst singing a baby to sleep requires some length, I would have done away with the repeats.

Thanks for the comments and yes I agree with the Alto parts. I am working on the words for the altos and the rest of the song, but that is why I put in there that I needed help with the words. I know let ring is more for bells and stuff but I meant hold and fade slowly out not to take the notation literally at the end. I understand pppp is quiet but it's just to show that I want it quiet. Thank you anthony for commenting.

It's pretty

Thanks for the comments and yes I agree with the Alto parts. I am working on the words for the altos and the rest of the song, but that is why I put in there that I needed help with the words. I know let ring is more for bells and stuff but I meant hold and fade slowly out not to take the notation literally at the end. I understand pppp is quiet but it's just to show that I want it quiet. Thank you anthony for commenting.

May I suggest you write "dying away" or "a niente" (to nothing)?

May I suggest you write "dying away" or "a niente" (to nothing)?

morendo would be the correct term.

overall, it's a nice piece i really liked the effects.

Why don't the lower three parts have words? You have to have something to sing! Even if you want a neutral syllable, like an "oo", you have to specify that.

The tenors and basses are going to get really bored just standing there for the first half (x2 since repeat) of the piece. As an audience I was bored too, the instrumental breaks are far too long and far too uninteresting/slow, but as this is a lullaby it can't really get crazy and exciting right? Cut down the breaks a bit, is my advice.

The alto part on page two has repeated quarter notes on the same pitch tied together. Now, as you haven't provided any words, I can't say for sure, but why not just use a greater note value? It's very much unclear what you want to happen there. This is in addition to other small notational issues that have been mentioned, such as "let ring"

You don't need to plop down a paragraph explanation of your compositional practices right in the middle of the piece - if anything, put that in the performance notes on another page entirely. I don't think anyone's going to buy this piece, sing it to the "clashing section", and then throw it down in disgust, saying "why did he write dissonances! This is a lullaby dammit! I quit!" Just notate "accel. poco a poco" and move on.

So I'd say your biggest issue is the...sudden lack of any words to sing in the middle of the piece, with several other tiny issues in addition. It needs some work, no doubt - there's plenty of time before you need to slap a price on there.

morendo would be the correct term.

overall, it's a nice piece i really liked the effects.

200 years ago possibly, but these days any language is used rather than the traditional Italian. And I am sure there is more than one word in Italian (as there is in English) to mean the same thing. I was simply suggesting words to use to describe what the OP wanted rather than saying "you will use those words". ;)

Thanks for all the feedback... I'm thinking about cutting out the first repeat and using the verse that's there for the next part. Would that be better? I know that my biggest issue is the lyrics but hmmm. that's why I said that I needed help with them. I put in the description that I didn't have all the lyrics. I'm still working on it. Thanks Everyone

I know that putting the paragraphs in the score aren't normal but I was using Finale Printmusic and I needed to type down some notes before I forgot. I will be working on a cover.

Thanks for all the feedback... I'm thinking about cutting out the first repeat and using the verse that's there for the next part. Would that be better? I know that my biggest issue is the lyrics but hmmm. that's why I said that I needed help with them. I put in the description that I didn't have all the lyrics. I'm still working on it. Thanks Everyone

I know that putting the paragraphs in the score aren't normal but I was using Finale Printmusic and I needed to type down some notes before I forgot. I will be working on a cover.

Am I correct in saying you write the tune/music first THEN add the lyrics? Surely this is not good practice?

Yes but not normally...

A very soothing piece! The slight dissonance sounds like the infant starting to wake up again, but then it fades away, going to sleep again: go to sleep, baby! =D

Yes, Serge, Yes. You are correct, once again. Great minds think alike. :)

As the others have mentioned, this is a pleasant sounding piece. I don't think anyone can knock you on that.

I agree with the comment about the basses singing that high E: just give that to the tenors as a divisi note. Of course, a good bass would know to sing that falsetto, given the context of the song, but you'll save yourself some headaches by just making it simpler and putting the note in a more range appropriate voice.

Also, I would personally use a different tempo adjective in the beginning since legato is not exactly indicitave of tempo. Largo, or even an English word/phrase would be appropriate. Then, put in sempre legato to show that the whole piece should be played as such.

One other thing, and this is totally a personal preference. I think some of the oboe rhythms are kind of boring. Particularly around 10 - 11. Straight eighths just seem a bit stagnant there. I would suggest adding a little syncopation or an imitation of a previous melody.

Good luck and thanks for sharing.

FMcG