A Father's Prayer.- Its bout time I posted sumthin

HEY everybody, this is is a piece that I wrote in dedication to my friend's father. His father passed, and he didn't really know his father. And a melody was in my head and a few lyrics and I knew what it should be about.

A father who prays for his son before the father himself leaves earth. A fatehr who is not concerned about his death but rather concerned about the life of his son being a promising one.

My chamber chorus teacher said that he'll work on it with the chorus.

So I really wanna just get you guy's opinions about it likes and dislikes and any changes that you recommend. THANKS!!!!!

I'll attach a pdf and a midi file and a mus file.:toothygrin:

A Father's Prayer.MUS

Finale PrintMusic 2006 - [A Father's Prayer].pdf

A Father's Prayer.MID

Ok! Nice. I enjoyed this for the most part. But, because I liked it, I KNOW there are some things that could be much improved upon.

When I look at a piece with modern "harmony" and modern "progression", the first thing I wanna know is WHY it is set this way. For example: In my choral work, "A Clear Midnight" movement 2, The Lake Isle of Innisfree, every single melodic note has a purpose. It has a meaning as to WHY I set the text in that way. Does that mean everything is emphasized? No. But, it's just like writing an English paper, you don't just put it cause it sounds pretty, you write it to communicate to someone. Like: The text "Low sounds by the shore". I did a decrescendo on 'low sounds'. 'by the' is an extension of the chord progression of the previous phrase (see, it's not emphasized, but it's important). And, on the word "shore", I have written it so the women are holding a chord, and the men have an ebbing and flowing feel to it. So, as you can see, it's not the MUSIC that I am writing, but the picture I am painting. And, that is, in my person opinion, how choral music is evolving. You can see it everywhere in modern works. Choral music is LESS about the music you write and more about the text you are setting.

It's almost like a philosophy. A choral writing philosophy. If you have the word "falling", which is a motif in the song cycle I am writing, I always write it with a FALLING feeling. Either they fall off the note, or they create a picture. It's all about how you look at it. Now, why am I saying this? Because I think this piece LACKS direction. I don't see a development; I see half-baked melodies that don't fit together and are not able to convey any sort of feeling. I feel like the chords you have used go in and out of a "classical" style, and that's not a problem... until you come to where I think the progression is going to go somewhere and you move to just a "blah" chord. Examples:

Measures 3 and 4. The chords are insanely unrelated and don't follow a coherent form of thought. Which would be ok if you were writing about say, "chaos". But, you aren't. You are writing about "shelter from the toils of life". You are being peaceful. Your melody doesn't make me feel peaceful, and that may be subjective, but that's part of life. The music is also so slow... There is no feeling of direction. Have more flowing notes, more runs like in: Measure 9 was awesome! And, also the Sequence in 11 (plus the chords in 10) make for a VERY fitting motif. Props on that!

measure 16 is also some place I don't feel you moved chords very well. I am going to be honest here, I don't usually critique chord choice, because that is VERY sacred to a composer... however, I just don't GET why you chose to do that. I am VERY obliged to dissonance. I love it. I caress it. I believe in it. But, I just don't see it in this measure. There are also too many just straight quarter measures... Just BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT doesn't keep audience's interested.

I wasn't feeling measure 30 either... I think what I am finding is that the chords do not... settle? I think. They leave me uneasy. And, they leave me unresolved. But, this is a very resolved text, don't you feel? Maybe we have different interpretations.

Now back to what I was saying about word painting... I think you paint "Amen" very well. However, I do have a slight issue. The word "Amen" means: so be it. I realize that in our modern choral world, we live in an age where Dissonance is everywhere. However, (personal preference) I get uneasy when an Amen is a dissonant chord (do NOT try to tell me the last Amen isn't. I am the FIRST person to say that an added 9th is a viable Consonant chord, but we all know according to the "rules", it's not). It's just me, but it's something to think about. Your audience will like you better if you have the LAST Amen as just a simple major chord.

So, ALLLLL that being said... What do you feel this text is about?

I think there might be a problem with the pdf file. On my computer it just shows a black page.

Glenn idk whats wrong. I think it worked for Morivou just fine. Morivou thanks a lot for that it really helped. And I did realize that it was a little rhythmically square. I'm working on that. To me this text simply is a father praying to GOD to cover is son's life since he can no longer do that because he's going to die.

And now that I look at it I think I agree with the ending chord. Although I love the dissonance, the major chord brings much more closure. Thanks A Lot.

I've revised it a tid-bit and i'll post that soon.

You are welcome. One thing about choral music you should know, especially in an a cappella piece, is when you take a step back and look at the "arc", or story of the text, DO you see a similar arc in your music? Is there a specific beginning, middle and end? And if so, is it appropriate to the text. One thing about direction, it's very easy to do IF you know what you are writing about. In this prayer the father is praying, he is going to start off calm and easy and simple and evolve into a complex prayer. So maybe for the beginning you can leave it a little simpler. But, as you develop your ideas, bring in the emotional flowing notes and powerful musical statements. However, TRY, when writing a story in music, to not be TOO episodic. Let your transitions link your beginning, middle and end, and delight in the EASE that you create choerency.

When you get better at it, I hear you eventually throw all of that away and you can do it on your own. I am not there yet, I am still breaking out of my episodic phase. So, all this being said, just try and be smart when editing. Like I said earlier, this is a wonderful first draft with many a possibility to be a successful piece.