jake's agony

well... two lovers being torn apart maybe? Or maybe consuming their hopeless love? Just a short peace.

jake's agony

well that's really short ;)

I like the piece until 0:17.

If you'd like to continue the pice, I'd recommend you to go on at this point. Stay loud and tragic and develop a sort of climax there!

What's left after 0:17 you could use as an ending for example...

The Viola is kinda dominant in your piece, especially after 0:17. In contrary with olibrehm, I think the change in dynamics is very good, you should maybe even make it a little quieter with some (random) celesta notes or maybe some twinkles of wind chimes. Or go to the other end, and istead get some Heavy bass line involved and make it feel very sorrowful.

I really don't like the sound of that viola... a little too loud for my taste. It's really short and a bit anticllimatic, but it depends what effect you're going after. I think it went a little muddy at 0:15 - there are too many loud notes playing at once and clashing together. HOwever, I really love the ideas... it could turn into a really powerful piece if you wanted it to be so, and you've done a good job of catching the sorrowful mood.

Short and sweet, Jake.

I love that you dropped off partway through into a quieter mood, that was quite effective. The writing is pretty thin and unsophisticated...would have appreciated some more depth to the orchestration, but I suppose it does the job in a minimalistic sort of way.

As for the sound, your levels are way off and it really needs some panning and proper reverb work because at this point it sounds pretty bad — you can do better.

Good effort though, so keep at it! :)

Nice writing, Jake.

I think the very first note is strange combination of the harp with the strings and it sounds a little bizarre.

I liked the dynamic change at 0:17. Very nice contrast.

Aside from the production and mixing that you should work on, I think you can still add a bit more passion to this track. If your idea is lover's being torn apart, I think you can tug at our heart strings a little more.

Nice work, Jake,

-John