September 5, 20169 yr My congratulations for turning a simple chord progression (I, iii, IV, V) into 8 bars, however I still think you repeat it a little too much. Maybe in like the bigger portion, you can add a secondary dominant to surprise the audience. Simple one chord changes can make the difference. I also felt like this was a study or a sketch in either melody or variations on a chord progression. Your sections weren't exactly fleshed out very much. If this is ALREADY accompanying some sort of film, then forget what I have to say about that, but as just a listening piece, it's kind of aggravating to want to hear more build come out of something and not receive. The ending was a little awkward and cliché. I like the D half-diminished, but the bass on the tonic (1, 5, 8, 9, 10) is a little bit boring. It does sound really nice though, in terms of each section. I just wish there was more to latch onto.
September 6, 20169 yr It's nice. I agree it sounds like music for a movie because of the repeating theme and the fact that it begins with a set of instruments and then gets "thinner" with the piano. And yes, some harmonic variation could have given a surprising spot...
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