Slazeus Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 This is my first attempt at a full composition. It's titled 'The Womb of Man', referring to earth (makes more sense with the video). All feedback or suggestions are welcome. Hope you enjoy it! https://youtu.be/dOEvmYcq_4w Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony Johnson Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I think this structured quite nicely and the use of the measures were well done; simplistic use if the measures but that is a good thing in my opinion. I love the dark overall sound and I think the tone matches the title well. I think it could use more various chord progressions though, but I think the chords you did use was enough to captivate the ear, which is also a good thing but borders on repetitiveness, but you hit it just right. Good work man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monarcheon Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 0:00 - end: Way too much use of the tonic pedal. 0:18 and 0:24 - minor second in the minor dominant chord. 0:43 - ii˚ chord clashing with non-harmonic tones. (F vs. F# vs. E) 1:55 - subdominant does not go with both the i and VII chords. You build up and drop off too often in this. Not saying it needs to be a straight linear progression, but it needs to feel cohesive. It felt like a lot of ideas squished together. I get it's supposed to be minimalistic, but like @LostSamurai said, it needs to be varied in chords more, since the cinematic aspects aren't really brought out enough in my opinion. Good luck; good work for a first attempt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slazeus Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Thanks for the replies! I definitely have a lot to learn, both in theory and in practice. @Monarcheon I think many of those issue's were a result of poor planning on my part to be honest, a lot of it was done by ear without really double checking my harmonies etc. definitely an oversight and something I'll note for the future! As far as there being too many ideas squished together. I was concerned that might be an issue, though I decided to risk it as I thought there was a chance it may portray how man is always changing and at many times in conflict with itself. Perhaps that was too much to try to say through this piece alone though. Ultimately, I'm pleased with all the feedback, both positive and constructive for my first attempt. Thanks again for taking the time to listen and to provide that feedback! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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