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Muhammadreza

Nocturne in A minor

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Greetings. I composed this 40 seconds :

It actually is what I understood from scores I have read. I know there are some problems in signs and slurs I used, so I shared it to know your opinion. Thanks!

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Hi, you have some inspiration in there, "living" or "musical" notes mate. But something was strange to me, and it is the start, it is like the initial note of the melody is missing from second 0:00 to 0:06, the melody enters a bit late in my opinion, I would start the melody from the tonic chord (first one).

Are you thinking in extending it?, it could be nice to hear it with development of the melody, as it is a good melody and chord selection (at least the ones I like and I would use). Also, I would vary the chords a bit using lower notes of the same chord (as inversions), as the chord progression is repeated without modifications,. which is not necessarily bad, but this is what I would do.

Just my point of view, of course, I do not own the truth here.

What piano library did you use?, it sounds good.

Rgds,

Edited by Donethur
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42 minutes ago, Donethur said:

second 0:00 to 0:06, the melody enters a bit late in my opinion, I would start the melody from the tonic chord (first one).

I know, and I try to fix some problems like this in my future projects. This was only an experience for composing a nocturne.

43 minutes ago, Donethur said:

Are you thinking in extending it?

Not really. I learned a lot while I was writing this. But, I think expanding this is a waste of time, and I really am sure that I can compose a better "Nocturne in A minor" in future :))

43 minutes ago, Donethur said:

which is not necessarily bad, but this is what I would do.

Something I know that I should do is using inversions and dominant chords, and I started studying more music theory for learning that

43 minutes ago, Donethur said:

Just my point of view, of course, I do not own the truth here.

Thanks, it was a helpful and kind opinion :)

43 minutes ago, Donethur said:

What piano library did you use?, it sounds good.

I use addictive keys studio grand, thanks to focusrite, when I bought my audio interface, I could get one free copy of one of addictive keys products for a lifetime :D

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Thanks for the heads-up regarding the piano library, I am getting several, as I love the piano as instrument. I think this is one I would get  :)

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I think you could catch the mood of a nocturne, well done!

However, if you don"t mind I'd have a few suggestions:

1. measure: It would be better, if you group the accompaniment in 3+3. It wolud be more readable, and it'd express better your conception (6/8 for example?). It might be much better, if you would bigger distance between the low and high pitches in the counter.

2. measure: The two E tone (6th and 7th eights) broke the "fluency" in left hand, and in this genre, it is quite important (eg. you can change the first E to F).

3. measure: If you write only two part, you usually should avoid the unisonos, especially in that case (melody<->counter).

4. measure: It is markable, that you do not use a lot of third or sixth in your music. It could be your choice, but sometimes the piece sounds a bit  "empty".

6. measure: I really like the special rhythm, it is a great idea.

10. measure: same as second measure.

11. measure: It is quite weird, that teh measure before the last one is not dominant (E minor, or E major). 

12. measure: In my opinion, it is a bit annoying, when the nice melody break with the two C at the end. If I were you, I would change the bass a bit (eg. CEG-CH,E,), and the melody would be a half C, and a quater G, and then A(+the full chord, if you want: CEA).

I have thought you might be able to understand me more, if you show my reflections in score, so I attached it (and an mp3).

I hope it will be helpful!

 

 

 

MP3
0:00
0:00
PDF

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10 hours ago, Aure_liano said:

I think you could catch the mood of a nocturne, well done!

Thanks, I just listened to my Chopin CD's to get the concepts. Also, Listened to lots of John Field's works :D

10 hours ago, Aure_liano said:

4. measure: It is markable, that you do not use a lot of third or sixth in your music. It could be your choice, but sometimes the piece sounds a bit  "empty".

I know, this was only a test on "how to write" a nocturne. In my future works, I try to add more variations and use dominant chords.

10 hours ago, Aure_liano said:

I have thought you might be able to understand me more, if you show my reflections in score, so I attached it (and an mp3).

I hope it will be helpful!

It was a helpful and great edit on my score. Also, thanks for your kind reply to my music.

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The right hand cn move more when you've written long pauses. This piece can be further developed by much more. Also, the right hand should start with the left at the beginning of the piece.

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1 hour ago, ilv said:

Also, the right hand should start with the left at the beginning of the piece.

I heard lots of piano pieces which had two or three bars of rest in right hand, and left hand only played. Is it a rule in "nocturne" style?

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