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Op109 Nr4 The morbid world


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Hello everyone, this is the piece I newly composed, it depicts the mental state of a psychotic, hope you like it, and @Luis Hernández welcome your commentation.

Edited by cloud10000
for some adjustment
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Interesting work, though I do have to say I find the ostinato takes me completely out of the world you're trying to create. Because of its rhythmic persistence and novelty interval structure, it sounds a bit like a joke, and doesn't connect to much going on in the rest of the piece. For that reason, I kind of find the adherence to rhythm in this piece to take away from the atmosphere.
You do wonders with intervals in the piece; the parallel fifths and pattern structure you set up with transitional periods are really good ideas, but it all felt very static, and in that way, nothing surprised me. I didn't feel anything close to psychosis because the affect and the execution didn't seem to line up that well. In short, you've got lots of good tonal ideas, but you restrict yourself with the rhythm.

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