Serenade

Here is the first draft of a serenade that I have written recently for the following orchestra: 2 Flutes; Oboe da Caccia; 2 Clarinets; Horn in F; 2 Celestas; Violin I, II & III, Viola I & II; Violoncello and Double Bass. I tried to add some chromaticism into the harmony to richen the tonal landscape throughout the different ideas. I might enter this into a competition - what do you guys think?

Is the part finished? I think it is too short. Beginning was very interesting and beautiful. I expected that now will be started a theme. I waited for a melody, but it didn't begin. Instead of it you shown a new tune which sounded like a scherzo. It was very strange and unprepared. The second tune also was very short and didn't have any development. 

Yes, you created nice harmonies and interesting orchestration. However your composition is looking empty (excuse me for my English). Empty because it has a beginning and an ending but it doesn't have the main part with themes. You called the piece "Serenade". This name immediately makes listeners to remembr vocal music or instrumental compositions in vocal style. 

I'd enlarge it by adding a medium part.

Excuse me please, if my words sounded rude. I didn't want it. 

With respect,
Alex
 

@Alexx

It's not quite finished, but I feel I am almost there with it.

On 10/20/2019 at 4:31 PM, Alexx said:

Is the part finished? I think it is too short. Beginning was very interesting and beautiful. I expected that now will be started a theme. I waited for a melody, but it didn't begin. Instead of it you shown a new tune which sounded like a scherzo. It was very strange and unprepared. The second tune also was very short and didn't have any development. 

The first theme enters at Bar 5, played by the Oboe da Caccia. I personally think that the second theme (scherzo) was set up properly.

On 10/20/2019 at 4:31 PM, Alexx said:

Yes, you created nice harmonies and interesting orchestration. However your composition is looking empty (excuse me for my English). Empty because it has a beginning and an ending but it doesn't have the main part with themes. You called the piece "Serenade". This name immediately makes listeners to remembr vocal music or instrumental compositions in vocal style. 

I did try to make my piece melodious. I have planned a new form which has some more development, but uses the same two themes as this one.

Everyone has own personal imagines about good music structures. If you are sure that you have done everything right in this piece you of course can leave it as is. Sometimes listeners perceive new forms wrong.  My opinion was just my opinion. 

@Alexx I do think that form is a highly subjective aspect of music. I can definitely understand what you were meaning and I think I will revise this to make the themes clearer.

As far as it went I enjoyed it......but tend to agree about being just a little longer. Some nifty orchestration and the changes in tempo seemed appropriate. I don't know about the pause at the end of bar 10 though. Have you tried breaking straight into the piu mosso?

The chromaticism wasn't intrusive and just seemed to help the harmonic flow. 

My only comment otherwise is that the notation rendering didn't do it justice. A few parts that came across as solos didn't stand out - just lost in the general balance. However, it's a pleasant work. Just ended all too quickly!

You certainly know how to add colour and flair. However, I found this rather disorientating. With a little structural consistency and melodic development without depending on great digressions will in my opinion make this great.

Thanks for sharing.