The Dark Hole Of Your Mind

This is a song I wrote for the musical I am writing right now. It's arranged for piano, electric guitar, electric bass, and a keyboard with a pitz. strings sample library loaded (this is because the strings part is not possible on a real strings). This the song a halucenation of the main character's girlfriend sings to the main character.

The lyrics:

Lies can't be what we want them to be.

Still the days go drifting away.

For your future refrence, I will not feel this shame.

Oh, this dark self-brought pain.

Of my heart.

This disease of my mind, rots my thoughts.

Come real close, no you drift away.

This love is too painfull for me to linger here.

A waltz of un-truth we dance here tonight.

Leave me forever,

we will not live this fallacy one more day, tonight.

What I find in darkest corners of your mind,

A place that one cannot believe.

A dark hole, a dark soul, endless lies you live.

I can go no longer, dream.

Lies can't be what we want them to be.

Still the days go drifting away.

The Dark Hole Of Your Mind.mid

This is a song I wrote for the musical I am writing right now. It's arranged for piano, electric guitar, electric bass, and a keyboard with a pitz. strings sample library loaded (this is because the strings part is not possible on a real strings). This the song a halucenation of the main character's girlfriend sings to the main character.

The lyrics:

Lies can't be what we want them to be.

Still the days go drifting away.

For your future refrence, I will not feel this shame.

Oh, this dark self-brought pain.

Of my heart.

This disease of my mind, rots my thoughts.

Come real close, no you drift away.

This love is too painfull for me to linger here.

A waltz of un-truth we dance here tonight.

Leave me forever,

we will not live this fallacy one more day, tonight.

What I find in darkest corners of your mind,

A place that one cannot believe.

A dark hole, a dark soul, endless lies you live.

I can go no longer, dream.

Lies can't be what we want them to be.

Still the days go drifting away.

Interesting lyrics, I have yet to listen to the piece. I don't really see how these lyrics can make a song though. None of these line's ryhme with one another, why?

hey, it doesn't have to rhyme to be a song right? I'm buyin, cool stuff. Thx for sharing. :P

Will ! ahahah... James right... who cares about rhymes ?? Do some if you wish... you can write a piece without any major chord if you wish also. I just don't really see what this song's doing in atonal or experimental music though. Anyhow... it's nice, it reminds me of the songs I wrote at 17 ;)

It has major chords in it.

Very very weird.. It'd be hard to sing.

OMG- That song was beautiful!!!!!

Will ! ahahah... James right... who cares about rhymes ??

I do, you really should stop acting like I'm wrong for simply having on opinion, you seem to have this thing about that. It's a matter of skill, it takes actual skill and thinking to have a poem that ryhmes, this, is just random thoughts on a subject.

'tis be true. But, most Broadway (modern at least) and or the like songs don't rhyme. It should be more like a conversation...

I do, you really should stop acting like I'm wrong for simply having on opinion, you seem to have this thing about that. It's a matter of skill, it takes actual skill and thinking to have a poem that ryhmes, this, is just random thoughts on a subject.

I have writen many songs that do have rhymes. I also write alot of poetry that contains ryhmes. This song even has some imperfect rhymes in it (shame/pain, believe/dream, mind/live etc.), that occur at the end of lines, and some perfect ryhmes that aren't placed at the end of the line (we/be, dark/heart, hole/soul etc.). You can have an opinion, but you are wrong in this situation, and also you are implied that I have no skill with this comment

I have writen many songs that do have rhymes. I also write alot of poetry that contains ryhmes. This song even has some imperfect rhymes in it (shame/pain, believe/dream, mind/live etc.), that occur at the end of lines, and some perfect ryhmes that aren't placed at the end of the line (we/be, dark/heart, hole/soul etc.). You can have an opinion, but you are wrong in this situation, and also you are implied that I have no skill with this comment

No I did not, you misinterpreted what I said. I said that to write poems that ryhme, takes alot more skill, I never said a word about your ability to write. And there's nothing wrong with imperfect ryhmes, but when a portion of the poem goes something like this for example

I desire to run

My wheelchair binds me

I want to escape, help

That's just random thoughts on a subject, that's not really poetry.

Again, I NEVER said that you didn't have any skill to write

Wrong? Or just different? Different doesn't make something right or wrong

It was neat. It was dark, but not rip-your-soul-out-of-your-chest-cavity-and-wail-into-the-blackness-of-the-night-cursing-all-existance dark.

I'd have added a wailing guitar solo, but that's just me. Not that I could write a wailing guitar solo.

I was trying for it to not be a rock song, but simply use distorted guitar in a more er, I don't know, not rock setting. That's the reason for the lack of a guitar solo.

Ahaha... I wrote lots of poetry too (and music also ehehe). Will... I don't always take that you're wrong... if you say something that I agree with I will tell you so in the future... is that a deal ? You're right that it takes a lot of skills to write poetry, but different kinds of poetry exist and just because you've never seen a kind of poetry doesn't make it any less poetry. Anyway... I told you that you were right about that double stop alteration to be erased in my violin piece... eheh. I try as much as possible to tell right from 'wrong' as much as my knowldge and my culture allows it. But one thing is certain I stay respectuous to every body here as long as they don't prove themselves brainless and irrespectuous themselves.

Any way... these comments don't help you in anything Last life so I better stop these here ! ehehe

Ahaha... I wrote lots of poetry too (and music also ehehe). Will... I don't always take that you're wrong... if you say something that I agree with I will tell you so in the future... is that a deal ? You're right that it takes a lot of skills to write poetry, but different kinds of poetry exist and just because you've never seen a kind of poetry doesn't make it any less poetry. Anyway... I told you that you were right about that double stop alteration to be erased in my violin piece... eheh. I try as much as possible to tell right from 'wrong' as much as my knowldge and my culture allows it. But one thing is certain I stay respectuous to every body here as long as they don't prove themselves brainless and irrespectuous themselves.

Any way... these comments don't help you in anything Last life so I better stop these here ! ehehe

I never said that they don't exist, or that they're wrong, I just am more drawn towards poetry that uses clever ryhmes and such. That's just my personal prefrence :sadtears:

'tis be true. But, most Broadway (modern at least) and or the like songs don't rhyme. It should be more like a conversation...

I disagree. Many Broadway songs do rhyme. The ones that don't just sound like a recitative.

I find it funny that people are argueing about conventions when I posted this in "Atonal, Experimental, or Other".