mazeth Posted February 8, 2023 Share Posted February 8, 2023 Hi all, wanted to share a piece I have written very recently, and get your feedback, Enjoy the listening! Julien PS: scores (and midi) available on https://imslp.org/wiki/Tableau_No.3_(Piaser%2C_Julien) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Ng Tsz Kiu Posted February 9, 2023 Share Posted February 9, 2023 Hi @mazeth, I really enjoy the harmonic colour in it, especially in the first and last sections, like the minor 7ths and half diminished chords! Reminds me some of Debussy's colour! And it's fitting to be a nocturne! For me the transition to the middle section in b.42 is quite abrupt with only a bar with 3 single G sharps. Maybe you can extend it longer to better prepare for the different mood and tempo! Also I find the middle sections quite dry without the pedals, maybe you should add them into it! I find the transition to b.70-83 abrupt again, and the section itself doesn't seem satisfying for me with only quick octaves in both hands. I think it will be better to change the left hand to quick thick chords instead of following the right hand's pattern. Maybe the effect is not as satisfactory also because of the lack of pedal here. It should be F double sharp instead of G natural in b.40. In b.78 and 79 some of the sharps are redundant. You are very cool to have your piece posted on IMSLP! Thanks for sharing! Henry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazeth Posted February 10, 2023 Author Share Posted February 10, 2023 Hi @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu, many thanks for taking the time to go through my work and providing me with such detailed feedback, it is REALLY useful and truly appreciated! On 2/9/2023 at 5:06 AM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said: I really enjoy the harmonic colour in it, especially in the first and last sections, like the minor 7ths and half diminished chords! Reminds me some of Debussy's colour! And it's fitting to be a nocturne! Thanks for such compliments, that's encouraging 🙂 On 2/9/2023 at 5:06 AM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said: For me the transition to the middle section in b.42 is quite abrupt with only a bar with 3 single G sharps. One of the parts I had a lot of trouble with. I changed this transition many times, hence the lack of hindsight. That's exactly when a new pair of ears becomes essential. Thanks! On 2/9/2023 at 5:06 AM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said: I think it will be better to change the left hand to quick thick chords Another part I re-wrote many times over, thanks for the tip, I'll explore that. On 2/9/2023 at 5:06 AM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said: It should be F double sharp instead of G natural in b.40. In b.78 and 79 some of the sharps are redundant. Will correct those, thanks ! On 2/9/2023 at 5:06 AM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said: You are very cool to have your piece posted on IMSLP! Yes, I find it really practical. Whenever a new version of a work is ready, I publish it... and former versions are still available. Again, many thanks for your feedback, Take care Julien 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Ng Tsz Kiu Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 2 hours ago, mazeth said: One of the parts I had a lot of trouble with. I changed this transition many times, hence the lack of hindsight. That's exactly when a new pair of ears becomes essential. 2 hours ago, mazeth said: Another part I re-wrote many times over, thanks for the tip, I'll explore that. Haha you can post more frequently here! I am sure there many new pairs of ears here for different approaches! I myselr always try and fail and try harder to make my music as smooth and reasonable as possible. I am sure you will have your perfect solutions after many attempts! 2 hours ago, mazeth said: Yes, I find it really practical. Whenever a new version of a work is ready, I publish it... and former versions are still available. Actually I am curious how to post our own works to IMSLP, since I assume it only posts works by composers with some popularity! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luis Hernández Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 I understand that transitions, when there is an important twist, are quite difficult. The change you made is strong but it sounds good. The part A is more romantic, but the B part sounds modern-bartokian. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazeth Posted February 10, 2023 Author Share Posted February 10, 2023 Hi Luis, Many thanks for your feedback, it definitely helps! 4 hours ago, Luis Hernández said: The change you made is strong but it sounds good. Thanks for the encouragement, I'll try to rework the transition so that the switch from A to B is smoother. 4 hours ago, Luis Hernández said: modern-bartokian. Thanks for the compliment! Don't know much about Bartok's work, your comment is intriguing -> I'll go and listen to him straight away 😉 Take care, Julien Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazeth Posted February 12, 2023 Author Share Posted February 12, 2023 Hi @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu and @Luis Hernández, Wanted to share with you the latest version, after reworking the piece based on your feedback. In a nutshell: after several attempts (some too brutal, some too dull, not easy 😉), I found a transition which I found not too bad (between parts A and B - see bb. 41-46) after quite some struggle, and different attempts, I couldn't find anything convincing to replace the left hand part for bb. 74-87. I agree it was a bit dry - probably due to the "mechanical" play of this computer-generated version (once I can play it, it should be better, hopefully 😉). In the end, I simply added some pedal as suggested by Henry. I guess it was the best alternative. (the "quick thick chords" option was too "brutal" to my ears) Many thanks again, Take care, Julien MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu tableau 3 > next PDF tableau 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Ng Tsz Kiu Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 Hi @mazeth, 7 hours ago, mazeth said: after several attempts (some too brutal, some too dull, not easy 😉), I found a transition which I found not too bad (between parts A and B - see bb. 41-46) I do think having the transition the music is smoother now! 7 hours ago, mazeth said: after quite some struggle, and different attempts, I couldn't find anything convincing to replace the left hand part for bb. 74-87. I agree it was a bit dry - probably due to the "mechanical" play of this computer-generated version (once I can play it, it should be better, hopefully 😉). In the end, I simply added some pedal as suggested by Henry. I guess it was the best alternative. (the "quick thick chords" option was too "brutal" to my ears) Haha, I suggest quick thick chords because I am a Beethovanian guy! I find the sound much better now with the pedals since it helps the harmony resonate! Of course with a real recording it will be even better! Thanks for sharing the revised version! Henry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luis Hernández Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 I think the transitions are good now, particularly when it goes back to the first part. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazeth Posted February 13, 2023 Author Share Posted February 13, 2023 Hi both, Thanks for your feedback, really helpful Take care Julien Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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