Waltz in E Major (WIP)

For context, the waltz that I'm writing currently has a very satisfying introduction (which I borrowed very liberally from the start of Scriabin's 5th Piano Sonata) and a first theme that I'm somewhat pleased with. Attached is what I've jotted down of a second, intermediary theme that I plan to develop later on, as well as some chord labels to track where I want the harmony to go; I'm a little less sure about this secondary theme.

I think I've listened to this over and over again so many times that I've gotten quite familiar with it, but does any part of the chord progression feel stilted or weird? For a modulation to C minor, it's probably a bit convoluted. Also, I'm not sure if the melody 'seems' unique enough, or compact enough, even, to be memorable, esp. with its rhythm and contour? 

The harmonic progressions are original, although the harmonic rhythm seems quite fast and regular (one chord per measure).
The modulation from E maj to Eb maj is very well achieved.
But in the passage at the end to C m I have my doubts since it does not sound yet.
The Fm6 - Bb9 is a II-V that would resolve to Eb again. But it wouldn't be strange at all if it resolves to Cm (as I saw from Eb). You would just have to reaffirm that new tonality with the sensitive (B natural) by means of a G - Cm, or equivalent.

 

Hello @arviou25,

I agree with @Luis Hernández that the modulation from E to Eb well made when you reinterpret the D# minor (iii/B) to Eb minor (i). I don't think the movement weird or not as you have learnt from Scriabin on his chromatic movement and voice leading for the harmonic progression. For the modulation to C minor I don't think it's convoluted but simply unprepared, as changing the Bbs to B naturals will notify us the upcoming C minor more. (I only realize I repeat Luis' comment after typing LoL). 

On 8/20/2023 at 5:46 PM, arviou25 said:

Also, I'm not sure if the melody 'seems' unique enough, or compact enough, even, to be memorable, esp. with its rhythm and contour? 

I think the harmony is much more memorable than the melody. The melody is good but the harmony is marvelous. 

Thx for sharing!

Henry