Nocturne in Ab Major

Nocturne written by me, any and all feedback is appreciated

Edited April 28, 2025Apr 28 by Alant

A very beautiful and sensitive work. I also find it harmonically rich. A good technique to intermingle the melody with the arpeggio.
The sound is a bit muffled and strange, it seems to be a direct recording, isn't it?
 

10 minutes ago, Luis Hernández said:

A very beautiful and sensitive work. I also find it harmonically rich. A good technique to intermingle the melody with the arpeggio.
The sound is a bit muffled and strange, it seems to be a direct recording, isn't it?
 

 

Thanks! Yes it’s from my phone camera

Very tender piece and performance, well done. My only suggestion would be to add a little more variety. A ton of variety isn't necessary in a short piece like this, where the whole thing feels like a single thought. But i would have liked to hear a little change from the pattern of simply one melody note every half measure. And I would've liked to hear those sixteenth notes last more than one measure. I felt like they had more to say.

2 hours ago, user011235 said:

Very tender piece and performance, well done. My only suggestion would be to add a little more variety. A ton of variety isn't necessary in a short piece like this, where the whole thing feels like a single thought. But i would have liked to hear a little change from the pattern of simply one melody note every half measure. And I would've liked to hear those sixteenth notes last more than one measure. I felt like they had more to say.

 

Thanks for the advice! The piece is somewhat constrained to what is easy for me to play technically at the moment

I completely agree with the previous comments about adding more melody and giving the sixteenth notes more of a place in your composition, developing the idea and possibly fitting in a coda.
Moreover, I think that splitting the accompaniment into the two staves looks rather ugly how it is done right now, and most importantly it makes difficult distinguishing melody notes from accompaniment ones. Can you create two voices in that stave?

I really liked the dreamy harmonies employed here. From what I heard here I believe harmony is your strongest field in composition. Perhaps as a future goal I would recommend adding some more modulation and even thinking about implementing non-chord tones into accompaniment figures. 
 

Thanks for sharing 

Manuel

Very nice music, you have a great voice :)

As said earlier, a bit of variety or contrast would help, especially if you wanted to extend the material. Even if you took the melody and chords and gave space for just chords to break up the flow woukd be nice, wouldn't have to be something complicated. As is, it's wonderfully singable and stuck in my head already haha. Well done!

Here is a revised version of the piece (played with the Flat app). Once again, any and all feedback is appreciated 

Edited May 3, 2025May 3 by Alant

Here is a real performance of the revised version

Hi @Alant!

I listen to your revised version with your real performance. The first section really reminds me of Liszt Consolation plus Schubert op.90 no.3 plus Chopin op.25 no.1. I love how you change the texture and accompaniments for varities, at the same time maintaining the simplicity of the music. Lovely music and lovely playing as well! Thx for sharing and your updates!

Henry

Hi @Alant! 

I like your revised version more than the original, with more variation making it more interesting and unleashing more potential, sharing @user011235's thoughts. I thought it might be better if this version (which can sound a little more harsh than the original) can have the tenderness from the first combined/weaved into here - wld there be a gd way for this you might consider?

8 hours ago, Aw Ke Shen said:

Hi @Alant! 

I like your revised version more than the original, with more variation making it more interesting and unleashing more potential, sharing @user011235's thoughts. I thought it might be better if this version (which can sound a little more harsh than the original) can have the tenderness from the first combined/weaved into here - wld there be a gd way for this you might consider?

 

Do you mean adding something with the slow style of the beginning to the other two segments of the piece?