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I'm deaf, you insensitive clod

Never heard of it.

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I would be impressed if someone performed it without a timing device and was accurate.

Then you haven't heard the original, but the orchestration of this masterpiece

you definitely should look for it then. i recommend claudio abbado's studio version, even though he takes it a bit on the slow side—the rests in the second movement have so much vibrancy and colour. some people prefer pierre boulez's recording, but it is live, and reportedly someone coughs around 1:38. there's also oliver knussen's interpretation in the collected silent works of john cage edition for completeness, to say nothing of the chamber versions of which david tudor's is the obvious must-have.

Yeah, I miss that.

Anything from "Fantasia". Seriously, people.