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This was the first large work I wrote and does not reflect my current abilities. I started writing it in September 2019 and finished in January 2021. I'm posting it here because I'd like to make a revised and fully orchestrated version in the future and need some feedback for that. The piece is programmatic with 7 movements, an introduction, and a finale. I will share the intended the program in case there are better ways of depicting them. The introduction serves no programmatic purpose, but does introduce the most important motif, the four descending notes. The first movement is the Prophesy of Simeon and for its structure I state material and then stick that into a slower section in an attempt to imitate questions and wise answers. After the final answer is a musical "pierce" since Simeon says that Mary's heart will be pierced by a sword of sorrow. The movement closes sadly, foreshadowing the fifth movement. The second movement is the Flight into Egypt. In the story, an angel warns Joseph of King Herod's intent to kill Jesus, so they flee through the harsh desert to Egypt. The music reflects that with a slow beginning and then an agitated theme in a mode. Then, for when they arrive and live peacefully in Egypt, there is a calm hymn-like theme. A fugue transitions to repeat the angel section from the beginning, as an Angel tells them they are to return since Herod is dead. The agitated desert theme resumes and when they make it back, a very important theme plays, closing the second movement. The third movement is the Loss of the Child Jesus in the Temple. The movement begins calmly with the theme that ended the previous movement, as in the program, Mary and Joseph are walking home without the knowledge of Jesus being left behind. The structure of the rest of the movement is a series of 3 marches for the 3 days they spent look for Jesus. The movement closes with the hymn-like theme. The fourth movement is Mary's Meeting Jesus on the Via Dolorosa. This is the movement I dislike the most. The idea was for it to be in kind of an arch form, for I imagined Mary in the crowd watching Jesus come into view, walk past, and then leave her view. I don't think it worked particularly well, especially with how repetitively I use the main theme. The fifth movement is the Crucifixion. I begin it slowly with three points of the "pierce" chord from the first movement, for the three nails attaching him to the cross. Immediately after the third nail is a dissonant variation of the theme from the fourth movement. Then, a mediocre fugue on that same theme, which leads into a slowed down repeat of the end of the first movement with more voices, for the death of Jesus. The sixth movement is the Piercing of Christ's Side and His Descent from the Cross. The music starts quiet and relatively still. Then a spear is thrown, so to reflect that, I have flying-ish music. The "pierce" chord plays again but is transformed into consonance with waterfall-like arpeggios, for when the spear pierces his side and blood and water spill out. Then the hymn-like theme plays. To close, the quiet music repeats, but slowly descends, for Jesus being taken down. The seventh movement is the Burial of Jesus, and is in ABA form, imitating funeral marches. Afterward, is the Finale. I have 2 unresolved suspended chords, and then 1 resolved for Jesus returning on the third day. Then, after the greatest build-up I've ever written, the theme which ended the second movement returns, closing the piece. Welp, that's the whole piece. Again, it does not reflect my current style, and I don't think it as particularly good, though I am still proud of it. Feedback is welcome, of course.

Hi Peter! Thank you for your encouragement and giving me the badge! Yeah when I was composing in the midway of the whole composition I suddenly found out that the main motive comes from the opening of Beethoven's Pastorale. I was quite worried but just forgot it later on, since I had put some creativity to it at least. I was then an all-Beethoven fan. I worshipped him and treasured all his piece, even though I didn't know thoroughly on his pieces at all. I am less Beethovanian now though, but at that time I composed really Beethovanian-ly, which is not a bad thing for a novice composer, even though it would be detrimental to one who wants to be mature. I hope I am less Beethovenian now. I was paying attention to maintaining the flow though. My main inspiration for this movement is the first movement of Beethoven's op.101, piano sonata in A major, where he achieves an amazing lucidity and fluidity. I hoped I can write like that too at the moment. I still treasure the lucidity and fluidity now though. Maybe because I play the piano myself so I know the effect of the texture of chords. Yeah and the drone bass is quite pastoral as well. Thanks for noting the pastoral elements in it! I am practicing the 2nd movement which is a Scherzo and it's quite difficult to play. For the 3rd and 4th, 3rd is actually a quite OK slow movement, but the 4th is quite trash since the structure is too sparse as I attempted to write like Schumann at that time, whose style I cannot capture at that moment. Your suggestion is great, and I will consider having at least the computer rendition of them posted here! (Not in Youtube though) I am also practicing my 2nd Piano Sonata in A flat major in five movements That one is much better than this I guess and I will post all of them in the future! Thank you for your review Peter! I great appreciate that! Henry

This is really cool! I had to remind myself of the theme of Beethoven's Pastorale Symphony and I have to say I don't think it's very similar at all! Maybe just some of the rhythm and contour of the main theme, but this is far from a copy and paste (which you justly remarked in another post is simple plagiarism). Stylistically and harmonically it is quite inspired by Beethoven however. But that's not a bad thing by any means. I think as composers and creative types we sometimes can't help and have a bit of hero worship! All your melodic and harmonic material is quite lucid and well thought out, never jarring or discontinuous. The chords are sometimes thick but not overbearingly so - quite like Beethoven would probably have written himself. Your performance is quite good as well! The piece does retain the feel of a pastorale movement, being sprightly with its jaunty spring in its step in 6/8. Great job and thanks for sharing! And if you don't have recordings of the 3rd and 4th movements, I would love to hear at least the computers rendition of it!

I've just listened the 1st movement! I love the arrangement of the strings. The melody is more in the alto range, that's why there are two viola parts I guess? Even the violin plays more in its low register. Personally I think the introduction b.1-25 quite repetitive and direct. For me it does not prepare well to the main sections. I think adding a timpani for b.70-71 would be great. I absolutely enjoy the build up to the climax! When the double bass melody begins in b.146, the soundtrack does not give justice to the it, as the volume of the violas are higher. Personally I think the transition to the Presto Agitato section quite abrupt, and the tempo is not quite fast enough for me to be called Presto. It ends well in the Picardy third! i think it's the handling of the material the issue here. For me the material is not fully developed here as it gives a somewhat repetitive feeling here, if I am too nitpicky to say that! The building to climax like those in b.70 is great, but in other sections I feel like it's changed only in key. (Please forgive me to say this!) Maybe because most of the time the melody is in middle to low register, so the attention is not sought I guess? But after all it's just the introduction so what I said may be irrelevant to the whole piece! I must be too nitpicky and I have to apologize for that!!😭 I will definitely listen to the later movements and may change my opinion towards the introduction! Thanks for sharing this massive work here, Jonathon! Henry

Thank you Peter for your stimulating and encouraging response. Right now, I am working on a piece for cello and piano, but I also got some ideas for the fourth movement . It looks like it is going to be a scherzo. I will post it as soon as it is ready Best regards Thanks Henry for your reply! ( I uploaded the revised score)

I really put my soul into this one. Do not be shy to give me constructive suggestions. I really appreciate them 🙂

Lol better now?

Hey man, cool piece! I like the lydian feel to this, with colorful movements in the chords, even venturing a bit into E major. I've seen this type of score writing before, and just know it's a bit harder to read along with a background picture. Sure it looks cool, and it's cool for a video, but maybe for review purposes you could include a pdf of the score as well. Bar 38 seemed abrupt back to the original material, I'd maybe think of a way for future pieces to blend those types of spots a bit better. Fantastic composition, very beautiful and moving. P.S. you seem to know your stuff and I've seen you around before, so maybe share a bit of your thoughts with other member's music along with posting your own. They'd love to hear your opinions.

That's a great idea and actually even I thought of ending it in a ritardando but I didn't for some reason (can't remember my thought process). Anyway, I'll try to see what I can do to make it work better

Thank you very much for the valuabe feedback and I agree with most of your criticisms. Thanks for listening and appreciating 🙂

Yes that's for sure. A live recording will definitely gives more justice to the ending. It's sort of the amiguity that makes the harmony in it fascinating. But I will highlight all those C sharp minor element to call it a C sharp minor piece! That D sharp is a clue, but the common tones between A major and C sharp minor also gives me the clue. The melody often highlights C sharp and G sharp. Even it includes A at the beginning, it's for me more in C sharp minor since it's an ambigous A-C#-E-G#, and my ears automatically filters the A as the dissonance due to C sharp minor bias! Henry

Since I also mentioned the ending I thought I'd contribute my 2¢ to this. I think maybe the ending could be made to sound more final by having a gradual ritardando before the end. From my own experience I think even strange harmonies (like in this case a diminished chord) can still give a sense of finality if other elements of the music tend to contribute/suggest it. That's just what I would do. Did you come to the conclusion that it's in C# minor from the very common inclusion of D#'s (even though the key signature is A major and it starts in A major) and the ending chord? I'm not sure if that's enough to say it's in C# minor - to me it seems more ambiguous.

I definitely feel the soul in it! I love your harmonic language and the cantabile style in it! And it's in my favourite C sharp minor! I enjoy this throughout the whole piece! What I find abrupt is the ending. It's a like a storybook suddenly closed without preparation. Personally I would end more firmly, but I love what you do here as well. That cadenza in b.29 will be really difficult to play on time! I think using unmeasured appoggiaturas as in Chopin Nocturne will do justice to the passage! I will change the opening left hand accompaniment with a dotted quaver instead of a tied one. Very nice job here! Henry

Now it's almost finished! Only there is a parallel fifth in the third and fourth beat of b.9 between soprano and alto (F#-C# to E-B) and in the last beat of b.10 to b.11 between alto and bass (F#-C# to G#-D#). There's a parallel octave in the third and fourth beat of b.11 between soprano and bass (F# to D, I didn't spot this in earlier reply).