A Forbidden Love.

I wrote this a while back, even with lyrics, I can't exactly sing so I didn't put them together ever, but here is the mp3. Hopefully you like it, I'll post lyrics if you'd like too.

I called it "What will never Be" Quick title, but it fits.

SoundClick artist: AGD Music - page with MP3 music downloads

Mind posting the lyrics? I wanna have a look.

About the piece, I don't really like snare drum rolls at the beginning, feels too empty. When the drum kit comes in, the piece feels really full and nice, which is good. But before that, the piano solo is also kinda empty. Try doing the piano part together with the left hand instead of only right hand.

I might try to sing this. :)

I agree with Nigel that you probably don't need the snare rolls at the beginning.... I would probably only start with the piano. Thought maybe the synthy lead sound could be a bit higher in the mix. Liked the sections where the drums faded out a bit (like at about 1:25). I think you could maybe add 1 or 2 instruments in different places for more effect. And maybe add you could try some modulation/compression fx on the drums to add variety too.

Thanks a lot for the suggestions, I'll mess with it/revise it. I def. see what your saying about everything, I'll revise it tonight actually.

Here are the lyrics! I usually keep my lyrics and not let anyone see them, but I figured I'd might as well. I hope you like them. "True story", you could say.

Is this something sweet

Or excitement of something un heard of

Lets get you back on your feet

From something you thought you'd never over come

my words are fumbled and my thoughts are racing

this wall we must climb with our past chasing us

is taller than we think we can get over

but together we can make it, my arm around on your shoulder

one day we'll look back on this, when it's done and over

and think about where we were

Even if it's with another,

I hope your as happy, if not happier

we are meant for eachother,

our love will shine through

you are unlike any other

who knew, who knew, I loved you

Looks like you took down the song :(

Ok, I put up a revised version of the song. I'm not a piano player exactly, not very good but I did put some more left hand notes in. I took the snare out of the beginning, which is a lot better thanks for that. I also added a bass synth and took the other synth lead up, hope you like it.

SoundClick artist: AGD Music - page with MP3 music downloads

AGD, I think it sounds much better now. Just a note on the left-hand piano notes... I don't think you always need to use them. For example, you could have the intro just playing the right hand notes, and then build up to both hands and then have the drums come in. Also, you could take the left-hand notes out at the quiet section around 1:25. Just an idea ;)

Well, this is good! Not bad at all. Just a tiny bit simplistic, but I'm sure it would sound better with a singer.

I wanted to mention that at :30, the percussion stops completely. It wasn't a bad thing, but It kind of interrupted the flow of the piece.

I liked the lyrics, they seem quite sensible, tell us when you've finished the song!!!