Galvenized Suite (a Symphonic Tone Poem)

Official Name: Galvenized Suite: Movement I (Steel)

Greetings all. I originally posted each of these movements individually in the Orchestra Forum as I wasn't sure if it applied as a Major Work or not. However, after much work and revisions, I've decided to give this piece the credit it is due. This is my first attempt at writing an original piece and I found it to be sufficiently challenging, and extremely rewarding.

This tone poem is different from most others I've heard because it is based on the concept of metal and how we perceive it. Each movement is based on a different kind of metal, and each has a sub-context of exactly how that metal is perceived.

Movement I- Steel- Industrial Revolution: This movement was the first I started working on, and was probably the most problematic. It features a lot of percussion and brass creating a rhythmic and mechanical feel which takes over the entire work. There is hardly any melody what so ever, but a four note motif that is carried along and manipulated through out. It has moments of grandeur, but most of the time it is filled with conflict and chaos.

Movement II- Silver- Gallop: This movement was basically a farce, and was the most fun to compose. It begins with a slow, baroque-style string ensemble which leads the listener to believe it is a serious and somber piece. However, it is abruptly taken over by the brass and percussion who take off in a brisk Gallop. As the strings come back in to try to bring back the seriousness of the movement, a small brass quintet simply refuses to allow it to happen. Eventually the strings succeed only to end the piece with a lush and pleasing resolution.

Movement III- Gold- Majestic Fanfare: This was the second completed movement I completed as well as the shortest. As much as I would go back to revise this movement, I simply couldn't bring myself to stretch it out or make it longer. It was simply perfect to me. Interestingly enough, it begins much as anyone would expect it to; in a grand flourish of glorious pomposity. However, it is soon taken over by a meek and feeble melody line which takes up very little of the instrumentation (specifically a trio between the flute, oboe, and bassoon accompanied by the basses and harp). However, similar to the previous movement, the full orchestra steps in to bring out the lushness of the movement into an ending just as glorious, but not quite as pompous as the beginnning.

Movement IV- Iron- Crucifixus: The idea for this movement rather caught me off guard. I had originally wanted to base this movement on the Titanic, which would have given me plenty of opportunity to juxtapose the luxury of the upper class with the raw power of the actual ship itself. But this idea quickly faded away as I started to consider the Crucifixion as a suitable backdrop for this movement. It is a rather obscure relation, only having to do with the nails Christ was hung upon, but it gave me exactly the kind of plotline I needed. It begins with an almost Arabic sounding prayer leading into the initial conflict of His capture. His trial and abuse make up the bulk of the piece. It is confusing to understand if the listener should be upset or joyous at any given time. Eventually, as the orchestra comes to a sudden hault, the lines of a common church hymn can be heard. "Take my life and let it be, consecrated, Lord, to Thee. Take my silver and my gold. Not a mite would I withold."

Sean Christopher Stork

Nightengale Incorporated

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=526490

Scoring:

Piccolo

Flute

Oboe

Bb Clarinet

Bass Clarinet

Bassoon

Contrabassoon

French Horn (atleast 4)

Trumpet (atleast 4)

Trombone (atleast 3)

Bass Trombone

Tuba

Cymbals

Break Drum

Tubular Bells

Steel Drums

Snare (Side Drum)

Bass Drum

Violin I

Violin II

Viola

Cello

Double Bass

Well, I tried to put this up top, but it will be fine here in the bottom. If you have Finale 2006, here are the actual MUS files. Played through Finale is much better than listening to the recordings. When I get my hands on Garritan's Personal Orchestra, I will repost the sound files so that all may enjoy them.

Sean Christopher Stork

Nightengale Incorporated

String Orchestra.MUSString Orchestra.MIDCello concerto in Bb major 3rd movement.MUSPP1.MID

Composition__Compressed_.MUS

Silver_2006.MUS

Composition__Gold__2006.MUS

Composition__Iron_.MUS

Hey, very nice piece! I love the piece overall, its great. Just a few minor things

A few things i dont love: Abuse of the top of you score. They hardly play for the length. Also in the beginning you have a raw repitition of the main melody, you could put something over the top of it to introduce new material or just give it a refreshing sound. The beginning, it seemed to forceful and the dissonence was a bit much. Later the dissonence worked very well for you but not in the beginning.

Hey :)

I saw in the shout box that you thought you recognized me, yeah, I met you on yahoo a while back :D Welcome to Young Composers!

Anyways, this piece is very cool! I think I had actually heard it before. I agree with Jay that it is a bit repetitive, but I love the suspense, very dramatic. Sounds like video game music ;) (that's a good thing! :thumbsup: )

- Jen

Here is an additional movement of my Orchestral Suite. The bulk of this was written in the span of an hour, so there is still much to be done with it. Mostly flushing out the orchestration.

For those not familiar with this work as a whole, it is a multi-movement Tone Poem in which each movement is based on a different metallic element. The first movement, posted in this forum, is Steel and is very harsh, dissonant, and non-melodic. This movement, however, is much more majestic and grand. The melody, I've been told, has a lot of Vaughan Williams influence, and that is pretty much the effect I was going for.

Basic Instrumentation. Some interesting notes: in the middle section there is a three part solo between the Flute, Oboe, and Bassoon, accompanied by the Harb and Double Basses (and Celli). The brass theme in the end will be expanded into all parts in the score, but I have not quite dedicated the time to do this just yet. Please enjoy and leave many comments.

Sean Christopher Stork

Hmm, it's a rather solemn piece - I kinda expected a more majestic mood. Is there any reason for writing it as such? Like the tragedy of mankind's greed - gold being a classic symbol for such? But it looks to have potential - I'll check back when you've finished.

It's very Vaughn Williams. It very nice, and the theme that spc1st stated is what went through my mind as well. I love the two-fold layer that seems to present itself: It opens with a majestic, yet reserved theme, only to reveal it's innermost evils. I think it will work very well when you complete it.

So this is the third movement I've been working on in my Galvenized Suite. I understand now that this might be better suited for the Major Works forum, but as I've already been posting them here, I will continue to do so. This movement is based on Silver, though it is certainly a brass feature of the Suite. It starts in a pretty typical March setting with some pretty humorous themes. The Mallets play a quick chromaticized line along with the melody to give it more of a playful timbre. Even though it goes into a minor section in the B section of the first half, it still is a very playful and upbeat march.

However, almost completely out of context, a new theme is presented, a regal and pompous theme (tutti) only to be quoted and mocked by a small brass section.

The ending I fell needs to be discussed in depth, as it answers questions asked about the previous movement (re:Gold). I was asked by several people why I would start with such a glorious and triumphant theme and go so quickly to a darker and more mysterious tone. The answer is simple: silver and gold and all the precious jewels in the world may make for a glorious if not fleeting affect. But no amount of wealth can help you achieve happiness. As a note, my seriously under finished Copper movement is probably the happiest and most cheerful out of all of the movements I've written.

This movement is basically scored for Strings (with Violin solo), basic woodwinds, and extensive brass. I've decided to feature the brass section in almost every movement, so this might effect the setting of the orchestra itself. I'm considering it.

Sean Christopher Stork

Nightengale Inc.

--Edit--

I have done a little bit more work on this movement, still more work to be done. I've written a new introduction to add to the intensity of the march section. Please note there is an abrupt transition into the Animato section. This was done on purpose as kind of a gag on my part! Enjoy!

Hey!

I don't have time to write a huge review but I listened to the piece and I'll give you my general thoughts. It's wonderful to listen to, extremely likeable and well-written.

There were some parts that sounded muddled and poorly-orchestrated but they didn't last long and you kept a fairly consistent level of quality throughout the work. Given that it's a tone poem, I can't really comment too much on the transitions, but I will say that they are rough at times and hinder the flow of the piece.

Well done :(

Parts of it are very nice, particularly the parts after the grand opening. Some rescoring of the opening and this could be excellent.

I have edited the files. I hope the changes make for a more successful (and beautiful) sound!

Sean C Stork

Nightengale Inc.

Pre-listening critique:

WOW!!! That's all I can say. Incredible use of harmony throughout, and your orchestration was beautiful. You should get this published. I'd use a little more dynamic changes, possibly some larger contrasts (pp -> ff). I loved the way you worked with the strings. You have a very deep understanding of them that is beyond even Mozart or say Tchaikovsky. I feel you could add color to the piece more by using Pizz. in some areas (particularily mm43-65).

Anyways, Great job!!!

...now I'll have a listen...

Post-Listening Critique:

The introduction was fairly nice. A few places where you paused the main theme and took over with the trilling timpani seemed a little akward (spelling? sorry Lee... hehe). I feel that those measures would benefit from holding the strings over the timpani?

I found your second theme quite enjoyable. Very fun and "bouncy." I loved when you took the 2nd theme into a minor modulation... great way to keep the listener's attention, and make them want to hear more. I feel your 2nd theme ended too abruptly though.. I would've personally had a few measure ritarando into the slower section. However, it was very nice as a whole.

I have to agree with Marius in terms that some places the orchestration was a bit odd.

You also used dissonance quite nicely in certain areas, and your suspensions were gorgeous.

Great work... I'm going to listen to GOLD!!!! YAEHAHA!

I'm agreed with Yggdrasil.. :D

Thank you for all comments, valid or otherwise. They will all be taken into consideration as I begin to edit and finish this cycle. Please visit the other Movements (Steel and Gold) as well, when you have the time. I hope to have the whole thing finished by the end of summer!

Sean Christopher Stork,

Nightengale Incorporated

Are you going to do tin? I love tin :)

Yes, quite Vaughn Williams! You were able to turn metal into something musical! (No Metal/Heavy-Metal pun intended.) Very nice job!

The final movement of my Galvenized Suite is completed. I'm not sure if I will be writing additional movements or not, but I have an idea for a Copper movement bouncing around in my mind. This movement took me a lot more time than the others, but the result is pretty impressive. I still have some work to do, including expanding some of the development section and flushing out the orchestration in some obvious places.

This movement is filled with symbolism in regards to the Crucifixion, and I incorporated the theme to the hymn "Take My Life and Let It Be" in the end. Same orchestration as the others, but I utilized more of the low voices and Orchestra Bells. Comments are always appreciated. If you enjoy this movement, please listen to the others I have written as well.

Sean Christopher Stork

Nightengale, Incorporated

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.c...&songID=3910976

I liked your other movements better but... oh well.

Most of the piece isn't my style so I'm unqualified to really critique this at all.

Perhaps somebody else will be able to give you advice or tell you what you did good.

The sound file provided is not mixed very well, and I fear it may influence many peoples opinions of it. Therefore, I am providing you with a Finale 2006 file as well. I hope those of you with this program will enjoy it. Also, the edition I acquired does not come with GPO. If someone out there would be interested in transcribing this into Garritan, it would me greatly appreciated.

Sean Christopher Stork

Nightengale Incorporated

Topics merged and moved to major works.

I just got through listening to the first movement- Steel.

I thouroughly enjoyed this piece (though it is not exactly my type of music, I still enjoy all types to some degree). It really did put a picture of some factory or a smog darkened city like Pittsburgh during the industrial revolution. It specifically reminded me of a piece our local symphony played which they had commissioned from a professional composer for our city's centennial last year; there was a piece about the railroad (which basically formed our city) and with it the lumber mills we had here, it really sounded similar to your piece (however, it was much more dissonant).

One suggestion: make the dynamics more drastic unless they already are and finale sucks at expressing them.

Overall, this movement to your tone poem was great, I could really imagine a live orchestra playing it. Congrats on a job very well done.

I looked at it quickly, and I guess... again.... that I'll be the minority vote here.

the orchestration is awkward. I would like to know, are the woodwinds playing in unison at the beginning? or are those single flute, oboe, etc.. lines?

Even as unisons, the orchestral weight will NOT work. The woodwinds will be miming most of their part, completely overpowered by the brass and percussion.

on a technical note. you have some VERY high writing for the 1st horn there. it's extremely exposed, and un-doubled, and actually outside the range of the normal french horn. There may be rare players who will be able to screech those notes out, but they won't sound nice. The tempo precludes them being played clearly anyways.

unfortunately, a conductor will look at your score, see that, and toss it. regardless of the worth of the music itself.

ok, flame me now.

Unfortunately I haven't got finale so if those were scores I was unable to see them. I'd have liked to, to see how you've orchestrated certain passages. Similar to Qccowboy, I queried range issues and the scoring of loud tuttis, wondering if it's the limitations of midi (and particularly my soundcard that flatters nothing) held back some obvious doublings. No matter, it's a credible work and congrats on completing it (so far, pending other metals suggesting themselves)!

Qccowboy makes a valid point about loud brass in tuttis (which must, of course, contain every important note in the harmony) - the rest of the orchestra has to be content with doubling in its best registers or just stay quiet. Your tuttis sound clear.

Nice.

M

all technical considerations aside:

I'd like to add that I think the idea for this suite/symphony is brilliant!

I really like how the different moods come into play.

and there are some VERY interesting melodic and harmonic ideas here.

my major concern, as stated in the post above, is from the standpoint of orchestration.

an additional structural consideration: there could be a greater use of transitional material to cross from one idea to the next.

Well about time someone gives me some criticism on this piece. However, I can adress some of your issues and hopefully shed some light here.

Regarding the woodwinds, I admit I am terrible when it comes to writing for them. They are all intended to be one per part, as are all the brass. The strings however, require a very large and very accomplished ensemble. Most of the time they do take a backseat to the winds, but I see it more as an on going battle through-out the first movement. I have been learning here through trial and error, and I think I did a much better job writing for the woodwinds in the latter movements than the first. Honestly, this suite is not about woodwinds. Given it's metallic nature, it's very much a brass and percussion feature straight through.

Regarding the horns: I have several French Horn playing acquaintances, and they all asure me that the typical horn player can reach a High D above the staff. Though exceeding this note is possible, it is not very easy or pleasant in any right. You will see in my later movements that the Horn part is scored much lower than the first, but in no time do I ever exceed the suggested range. Same goes with the Basses in the strings playing too low. I revised this first movement several times to accomodate ranges. Honestly, it's not supposed to sound pretty.

Other notes to take note of is the use of Brass Quintet in the Silver movement. I can't recall the measure numbers right now, but there is one point where the brass break out in an almost Polka-esque sort of motif. That is to be played by Brass Quintet. Most of the woodwinds are written in only for solo purposes. I'll have to write an appology to them all for making them count rests the entire way through. But hey, the trombonists will love me for it!

Keep the comments coming. I love defending my work!

Sean Christopher Stork

Nightengale Incorporated