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Hello,

This is my new song about 1984 novel. I hope, you'll lik it! Write your opinion in comment, if you want. 

 

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Interesting. I didn't think it sounded all that programmatic in the beginning, but as it resolved itself it got more clear.
It hits its stride later. Using a borrowed minor vi chord in the beginning can have its problems in developing a melody because it makes the tonic more unstable, since there's really one good way to resolve to it (and away from it). When you included more borrowed chords in a pseudo-transposition it works a lot nicer and feels more developed.
It is hard to develop this, simply because you start so strong out the gate. More down time could fix this problem a little bit. 
There's no way I can question the drive in this piece, but I'd hope that there was a little more variety in chord resolution rather than the chords themselves.

Cheers!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Cool! It almost felt as though it hit its high point early on in the piece. That can definitely work if you play it right, almost as if you're starting with the big bang and afterwards you end up with bunches of dissolved bits morphing out from it. If you're going to do it, the energy has to lean forward away from the bang instead of pulling back towards it. Execution-wise, it's good, some of the background string arpeggios felt weird to me sometimes (0:00-0:30). Very nice once we get into the Macro melodies in the horns/brass. Watch the transition at 1:30, the change in sounds there was slightly abrupt for me. Try to "dovetail/overlap" the sounds together a little more. Once the strings take over the Macro melody, I'd love for some development someplace. Make something cool (and unexpected?) and throw it in there! Do something that forces you to take a new direction--like an unexpected roadblock that causes you to take a new route in a journey. Maybe doing some foreshadowing of the final orchestra riff (4:10 ish) would be a way to throw something in there, I don't know. It's all cool, keep massaging it and see where it takes you!

Cool work, keep writing!

Gustav Johnson

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