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Hello all,

Here is my latest piece. It's a jazz piece, and the first thing a have written in that genre (besides 12-bar blues melodies).

It's in a rough ABAB form, with melodies on the tenor sax and muted trombone. I heard the muted trombone being used to carry a jazz melody in a concert, and I love the sound. On the second B section, the tenor sax joins the trombone with a countermelody. 

Apologies for the trombone patch - out of the soundfonts I have on Musescore, there is no muted trombone. We can make do with a muted trumpet! (If anyone knows of any free soundfonts that have this, then please share them below!)

I hope you enjoy this piece.

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Works well enough to me. Couple things that stand out:
1. Lack of motion in the melody is fine in the opening but seems reductive the further into the piece you go especially after introducing the B sections.
2. Your V+ -> I progression at the end sounds a little goofy, but I'm not sure if that's the just the sound font or voice leading. 
3. More instances of beat elision (especially of TP 0) might be welcome, especially to really spice up the trombone melody since its melodic range allows for syncopations on distantly related chords.

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Hello @Monarcheon

Thanks for the very quick reply!

16 minutes ago, Monarcheon said:

1. Lack of motion in the melody is fine in the opening but seems reductive the further into the piece you go especially after introducing the B sections.

That makes sense. I think I could do a bit more with the trombone melody (or maybe with the accompaniment as well - perhaps introduce a rhythmic figure in the backing ensemble?) to give this more movement.

17 minutes ago, Monarcheon said:

2. Your V+ -> I progression at the end sounds a little goofy, but I'm not sure if that's the just the sound font or voice leading.

I didn't want the last two bars of the melody to be a straight I chord, as I thought that would seem to stretched out. I'll have a think about some other possible progressions, and tinker with what I have already.

18 minutes ago, Monarcheon said:

More instances of beat elision (especially of TP 0) might be welcome, especially to really spice up the trombone melody since its melodic range allows for syncopations on distantly related chords.

Sorry, what do "beat elision" and "TP 0" mean?

Thanks again!

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Just now, aMusicComposer said:

I didn't want the last two bars of the melody to be a straight I chord, as I thought that would seem to stretched out. I'll have a think about some other possible progressions, and tinker with what I have already.

Add more tones to it, it's the fact that it's "triadic" that makes it sound isolated to me. E+ over Bb∆ is a great voicing:

Screen Shot 2020-04-14 at 12.42.25 PM.png

3 minutes ago, aMusicComposer said:

Sorry, what do "beat elision" and "TP 0" mean?

"Time Point 0" don't worry too much. My bad for using improper terminology. Basically I think you could not emphasize beat 1 so much, especially at phrase beginnings.

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6 minutes ago, Monarcheon said:

Add more tones to it, it's the fact that it's "triadic" that makes it sound isolated to me. E+ over Bb∆ is a great voicing:

Screen Shot 2020-04-14 at 12.42.25 PM.png

Those chords look interesting! I'll have a look at how I can add more tones to these chords and perhaps through more of the piece. 

7 minutes ago, Monarcheon said:

"Time Point 0" don't worry too much. My bad for using improper terminology. Basically I think you could not emphasize beat 1 so much, especially at phrase beginnings.

Ah I see. Could starting a phrase later also help to shorten some of the long notes in the melody?

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1 minute ago, aMusicComposer said:

Ah I see. Could starting a phrase later also help to shorten some of the long notes in the melody?

Start at 3:48. At the "cadence" to VI at 4:06, there's a "elision" of beat 1, not harmonically, but rhythmically accentuated by orchestration. I have no idea why this was the first instance I could think of this.

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11 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

Start at 3:48. At the "cadence" to VI at 4:06, there's a "elision" of beat 1, not harmonically, but rhythmically accentuated by orchestration. I have no idea why this was the first instance I could think of this.

Thanks for that video clip. I understand what you mean now - there was definitely a delayed orchestral accent. I think I could work with my piece to see if this interesting rhythm could help.

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