89p0o5322ef Posted August 9, 2023 Share Posted August 9, 2023 (edited) . Edited February 7 by 89p0o5322ef 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expert21 Posted August 10, 2023 Share Posted August 10, 2023 G'day Aaron, Once again, a very lovely piece you've written, I can totally imagine this being performed in the home of a rich 18th Century nobleman. A few comments: You have a great grasp of binary form, though I believe the contrast between the two sections could be much greater. As I have said before, its time to add dynamics to your works. They will make them a whole lot better, a whole looooooooot better. Also allows you to provide contrast within your works. Other than a couple criticisms, good job. Keep composing and improving! Nga Mihi, Arjuna 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Ng Tsz Kiu Posted August 10, 2023 Share Posted August 10, 2023 Hey Aaron, I indeed enjoy this short work! I really love the clavichord like sound of your work since it really fits with the thin texture! I love in b.3 and 19 you introduce a hemiola there! This for sure add some rhythmic diversity in it. Even though you are still going for dominant A major in the middle section, I think it's more reasonable here since you end the first section in tonic D major rather than dominant A major, thus there will be no redundancy of keys here. I really love that chord in b.15! It really adds surprise here. However that chord should rather be spell C#, F#, A# and C#, since it's the dominant of B minor there! You can also develop on the B minor since it's the relative minor of D major and will provide a good modal contrast to the piece! The chord next to it will be better a ii6 chord (B minor chord with D in bass, instead of the E major chord here) I agree with Arjuna that you should add more dynamic contrast in it! Thx for sharing! Henry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luis Hernández Posted August 10, 2023 Share Posted August 10, 2023 Hello I agree. Perhaps one of the things that contributes to the weak contrast between parts is the persistence of the triplet motif. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Chang Posted August 24, 2023 Share Posted August 24, 2023 Small engraving suggestion: when there are lots of triplets, you can usually omit all the number 3s in the score except for the first one (or at important places). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterthePapercomPoser Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 Wow - you use super irregular rhythms and phrases in this piece! The main theme actually fits into 8 measures, but because of the offset-by-an-8th-note hemiola in bar 3 (a trick that Brahms loved to use) and the feminine cadences in bars 4 and 8 it makes it sound really unusual. Then you have that strange 2/4 measure in bar ... 9? It's not counted as a bar because it has a dotted barline? Without that measure your next phrase also adds up to 8 bars before returning to the main theme to round off your rounded binary form of this piece. Overall I think it sounds like you resolve to the tonic a bit too often making it overly tonic-chord heavy imo. Overall though, I really enjoyed this piece! Thanks for sharing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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