Summer's Day: YC Summer competition

Hello everyone,

I humble present to you my entry for the YC summer competition. The competition was centered around this poem: Donc, ce sera par un clair jour d'été | Song Texts,… | Oxford Song.

To me, when I read this song, I imagine a harp, piccolo, and harp playing together. The images that came to my mind were flowing classical melodic themes mixed in pentatonic moments. I try to capture the mood and aura of the piece the best I can. I hope you enjoy it.

Summer's day pdf.pdf

Hello

I’m going to give my opinion on a few points, but without awarding a score.

Firstly, the choice of the piccolo is a bit odd. Much of the part written for it could be played on a conventional flute. At certain points, however, this isn’t possible.

One advantage of the piccolo is that, in the higher registers, it can be played less loudly than the flute. Although the dynamic markings are a bit sparse.

One thing I don’t like is that the flute and viola play in octaves… two or three octaves apart. This creates a rather large and constant gap in between. Although at times it is ‘filled in’ with a note from the harp.

The viola is also a bit odd because much of its part is in treble clef, which seems more appropriate for a violin.

Writing for the harp isn’t easy either. Once the issue of whether pedal changes are feasible has been resolved (something I haven’t analysed), the problem is that it doesn’t seem very idiomatic for the left hand to be arpeggiating all the time. It’s an ostinato that already creates monotony. The range of the chords in each hand at that speed strikes me as far too wide; I’d limit it to an octave (for example, bar 23). I also find what happens in section B a bit complicated, where one whole hand is occupied and the other is too, doing different things.

As for whether it captures the spirit of the piece, I won’t comment on that because it seems so subjective to me that I can’t really judge…

I believe that a chamber piece of this style requires careful attention to dynamics, accents and balance.

Best regards.

Thank so much for your input @Luis Hernández.

I wanted to step out my comfort range (solo piano writing and string writing) and writing for three different instruments. Boy, this was sheer challenge. I understand what you mean. I think you implying there is unbalance of timbres between piccolo, viola, and the harp. :(

i enjoyed it, just like what the other guy had said I do believe in these points as well with the large gap with the Viola and piccolo, and also I believe that you could still written this in alto clef as it’s easier to read as a Viola player

I will see how it is scored. Then, i will go back revise it

Hi @Kvothe !

I agree with the alto clef suggestion by @Fruit hunter and the register issue by @Luis Hernández . To me it sounds like Chinese music featuring mostly pentatonic melodies. I think you can feature more solo moments by each of the three instrumentalists in their unique color: The high unique register of piccolo and the C string area of viola are never explored in this piece, while the harp is almost monotonously playing broken chords except the glissando near the end. To me chamber music should have the players fully enjoying their own parts with some challenging passages, while playing together there should be 1+1>2 effect, rather than weaking all players' uniqueness. Thx for sharing.

Henry

Sadly, I have strong feeling that piece might land well with competition. :(

Hello

It’s fine to experiment and explore different sounds.

But these extreme approaches need to be handled with care.

The piccolo is not, by its very nature, a solo instrument, but rather an extension of the flutes.

Of course, there are passages where it can take a solo moment, and so on, with the necessary support. Even complete works.

And there are reasons for this. And that is what I’d like to discuss, in the hope that it will spark debate and help us learn in general.

If we turn to Rimsky-Korsakov’s classic treatise on orchestration:

“Instruments operating above the high octave (i.e. notes higher than C6 or the C on the sixth additional line in the treble clef, such as the piccolo or the extreme register of the flute and the violins) have an extremely brilliant and penetrating sound, but lack body, ‘thickness’ and harmonic weight.”

(Note that the piccolo sounds an octave higher than it is written.)

There is, therefore, a ‘rule’ regarding lower doubling. Specifically for the piccolo or flutes playing above C6, the melody must be doubled an octave lower, assigned to the oboes, clarinets or violins.

More recent authors (Adler and Piston) justify this as follows:

-Loss of Fundamental: From C6 upwards, the human ear perceives the shrillness and upper harmonics very strongly, but the fundamental frequency loses its acoustic ‘weight’. The lower doubling ‘anchors’ the melody to the orchestra’s mid-range frequencies, giving it body.

-The ‘Floating’ Effect: If the lower doubling is not performed, the melody becomes detached from the rest of the orchestral texture, sounding disconnected, thin and ‘floating’ above it without blending in.

-Aural Fatigue: As noted in contemporary orchestral literature, maintaining pure melodic lines above C6 without a cushion or lower doubling causes fatigue in the listener due to a lack of frequency balance.

That's fair. But John Philp Sausa must not have read any of these when we wrote solo line for the piccolo!

Hello Kvothe!

After listening to your work and looking over parts of the score, I come down to the conclusion: I agree with all the previous people, and yes, It indeed sounds like chinese music at certain sections.

I like how there are some solo parts and tutti parts, as if being two intermezzos between the three paragraphs.

Some constructive feedback: You really should pay attention more to harmony, except if you intended to write more like prokofiev?

Anyways, brilliant piece!

-TristanTheTristan

Ah yes, functional harmony. 🤨 Why would I pay attention to that if I was intentionally writing something blending minimalism and 20th century writing. :D

Avg: 7.8

You have a very distinct serene melody which reminds me of the poem. Given that this was the challenge, I think you obviously succeeded on that front! The simple harmony however puts more pressure on you as the composer, because then your on the hook for a good, clear theme. In this case, the harmony definitely can get a little repetitive after awhile. However, the piece is short enough where you are almost pushing the limits, but your theme luckily is strong enough to balance this out! If the piece were any longer though, I would have to sit down with you and have a discussion about changing key :-) Even if it meant throwing in a flat here and there. But the melody is fun and your structure is another strong point. In conclusion, this is a very easy to follow piece with a clear structure and a fun theme!

Hello @Kvothe!

Interestingly, your entry—which was the very first one submitted to the contest—and the last one feature the same instrumentation: a (piccolo) flute, a viola, and a harp (while @JDevorMusic added two vocal parts).

Melodies Themes Motives and Harmony Chords Textures:

There is a melody played primarily by the viola and sometimes doubled or contrasted by the piccolo. The harp serves as an accompanying instrument and plays arpeggios—either “slow” ones, explicitly notated in semiquavers, or “fast” ones, notated as arpeggiated chords. With these ingredients, the piece develops a consistent flow that is occasionally interrupted by moments of “pause,” such as in measures 19–24.

There are almost no accidentals throughout the entire piece (except in the harp’s arpeggiated chords, for example in measure 23). However, this does not mean that the piece is written in C major (or A minor); rather, its harmony could be described as “pentatonic.”

Form Development Structure Time:

The piece has no „traditional“ form (such as sonata or rondo form), but develops the above mentioned melody and texture in a „free-flowing form“. And at the end, we have a kind of „fadeout“.

Originality Creativity:

This piece is unique among all the submissions and therefore creative, evidently due to its pentatonic sound and somewhat surprising instrumentation.

Score Presentation:

The score presentation is not very appealing to me. Especially the first page, with its large blank space, seems a bit “half-hearted.” I would appreciate it if the font size were larger for better readability, which, on the other hand, would lead to a more effective use of space on the pages.

And, as far as I know, a viola part never uses a violin clef – viola players are „monsters“ at reading ledger lines for their higher parts.

Instrumentation Orchestration Playability:

An instrumentation, consisting of a flute, a viola and a harp should be a useful choice. The flute and viola can interact with each other as melody instruments, yet each has its own register, preventing any overlap. On the other hand, when played pizzicato, the viola can “communicate” with the harp—the most important accompanying instrument. As mentioned already by other reviewers, the particular piccolo flute is somewhat weird, since it is usually not used as solo instrument and has a register that is too high to be a good companion to the viola.

Concerning the playability, especially for the harp, I see no issues with using the pedals, since accidentals are used very sparingly and, when present—as in measure 23—are separated by full measures of rest. I’m not sure if a harpist would enjoy playing broken chords in one hand and “fast arpeggios” in the other (as in measures 25–30), and the chords in measures 19, 21, and 23 seem too large to be played with one hand.

Execution of Given Challenge and Taste:

The piece has a playful character. However, I cannot recognize any (strong) connection to the topic of the contest: To take Paul Verlaine’s poem and create „Something“ in music. The mood of the piece does not necessarily evoke associations with a summer day or the beauty of a couple of lovers, nor does it have a typical “French” character. Rather, it reminds me more at the sound which is played (in an endless loop) in the background of a Chinese restaurant.

Average Score: 7.0

Hey there @Kvothe !

Lovely piece, it's definitely reminiscent of summer, and it fits well within the "love" theme of the poem. Your instrumentation is a little strange, but as you said, you wanted to branch out of your comfort zone and I'll always commend experimentation and trying out new things. I mean, look at the feedback you've already gotten... you must have learned a lot from Luis, Henry, and others. :)

This had some cool moments. I especially liked the change at bar 19, I just wish you featured that more! It gave a nice break from the flowing harp lines you mostly use throughout. You gave pedal markings for the harp near the end, should there be one in the beginning too?

I'm no harpist, but the parts seem a little difficult at that tempo. Maybe something to double check for your future harp pieces.

Another thing I'd like to mention, and this goes for the other pieces of yours I've heard, is that the phrasing seems a bit off. It feels like reading run on sentences at times, like the beat is landing or starting where it shouldn't. For example, I would have let the opening viola melody rest after the B note in bar 4, just to let it breathe a little. It might be easier for the listener to grasp ahold of your ideas a little better too. That way, when you add variation to your melodies or motifs, the listener can more easily follow along.

Nice work Kvothe, and thanks for participating! Hopefully you had a lot of fun working on this, and good luck in the voting :)

Hi @Kvothe ,

It was great to listen to your piece! Interestingly enough, we choose a similar instrumentation - I think the piccolo/viola/harp trio really speaks to the French summer sound of the poem. The range distinction between the piccolo and viola didn't personally bother me.

Great harp part! - Breaking it down into groups of four notes makes it quite idiomatic for the player. With so much pentatonic sounds happening, it would be interesting to explore various pedal settings on the harp to group the glissandi in pentatonic scales rather than diatonic. If you liked, you could also expand the range of the harp part into the higher octaves on the instrument.

Minor engraving comments: there are a couple slurs that seem to be missing or extraneous, I would prefer the viola be in alto clef for pretty much the entire piece (it never gets too high to really need to be in treble clef for the performer), and at rehearsal B I would mark those as dotted eighths rather than eighths tied to a sixteenth. It might also be nice to make the rastral size slightly larger for the entire score, just for readability.

Average Score: 7.125

It sounds like you just indiscriminately put down diatonic notes in the key of C major. Where you do stray from C major, the chromatic alterations clash with natural notes in some of the other instruments (ex: mm.13 Harp has F# while Viola has F natural) Also, I don’t think the harp can change pedal to F# that quickly while arpeggiating 16th notes at your tempo (in one beat).

From your comments, it seems like you deliberately chose not to pay attention to harmony because you were trying to blend “minimalism and 20th century writing”. This doesn’t sound like either of those styles. And you don’t get to just stop paying attention to harmony when composing in any given style. The result is that it sounds like you just randomly and aimlessly started clicking in notes. And the pentatonic/Chinese-like nature of the piece doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the theme of the contest. I’ll repeat what others have said as well: Besides a single F below the staff in treble clef, there’s no justification for using the Viola instead of a Violin. And the clef change to alto clef towards the end is pointless since the range of the part doesn’t change but stays the same.

The piece seems to be composed to satisfy just about the bare minimum requirements of the competition - 3 minutes if rounding up and 3 instruments. Nonetheless - thanks for your participation and good luck in the polls.

Average Score:  4.38