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benyamind

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  • 3 weeks later...

The mixing on the opening is a bit confusing with the keyboard louder than the vocals. 
I feel like there are some unnecessary chord extensions that kind of get in the way of the atmosphere for me personally: i.e. 0:43 Db∆7 instead of a triadic structure. I know it blends into the tonic, but that sometimes makes it feel a bit more out of place.
Could have used a bit more elaboration on the chord progression. It feels a bit quickly made at the moment, and there is a lot more to have done with it, especially since the tonic is not the first chord.
If you're going for a mood, you're almost there. I can't imagine it's supposed to be complex, but this otherwise doesn't make me think of anything super grounded in reality.

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  • 2 months later...

This piece has a really great feel. I get what you are trying to do with intro voice, bring up, and possibly effect it more so it's more different from your lead voice .. Up upfront  dry lead voice with harmony is brilliant.. Very ear addicting.  Backwards six great.  I'd keep your voice up there.  It is the essential glue which holds the piece together. I don't mind the chord extensions - rather like them. 

Like the snare drum filter. - perhaps shorten snare release 'not so much wires'.. Excellent different leads coming and going. check level so they all get equal chance to be heard.  

I view a song, as a guided tour thru a museum.  As the quide walks thru, soft spotlights, brighten and direct your attention, to the desired subject. You can do the same with your piece.  Direct the listen to the point.  I had a heavy discussion a year back with a established composer of movie/tv soundtracks.  She put in a few years at a music college (didn't get name).  But the emphasis was that the composer 'manipulated' and drew out the emotions of the listener, when, where they wanted.  While I don't quite like the idea of 'forcing an emotion' out of a listener - I am more disposed towards, coaxing an emotion, or creating the music, such that the listener could engage with what emotions they and memories came up for them.  That to me is successful music.  Where different listeners get a slightly different take on things. 

Not herded like cattle to 'feel' a certain thing.  Your piece 'coaxes' thoughts, emotions out of me.  quite effective. 

The transitions from sections is quite excellent

End out voice a bit louder please.  

Very Nice piece and exotic piece - striking

Edited by mark styles
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