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I'm mainly interested in fixing how the lyrics is phrased and or how it should be written on the music(sho-ok or sh-ook or shoo-k). ThanksThe Crown that should be mine - Full Score.pdf

 

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Scansion markings: "x" = unstressed, "/" = stressed.

The crown of thorns on his head,
x         /        x      /        x   x     / 

The crown that should be mine.
x         /          x        /        x     /

For this kind of stuff, "x"s should be on 2 and 4 (weak beats), and "/" should be on 1 and 3 (strong beats), if you want to follow the classical rules. 

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Posted (edited)

Does this technically work if im not following classical rules, modern English lyrics are hard to put to music.

What does stressed and unstressed mean? 

on "The" i agree it would be unstressed because you can hold on the "e" and it sound open.

but on "that" I would think it would be stressed since it would be pronounced thA-t where you would have to "stress" in order to say the word completely.

Edited by i(don't)suckatcomposing
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Just say the sentences out loud without thinking. Arguably "should" isn't stressed with the right cadence, but poets will consider it as such anyway because of the metrical foot (also something to look up).

Broadway messes with this all the time, and while it bugs me personally and I always follow the correct prosody when writing musical theater, the prosody rule is certainly not as important now.

In the Renaissance and most of the baroque it was strictly just "wrong" to not follow scansion rules because of a disservice to God, but while they did get more lax over time, the rule still stands as a base guideline.

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Hi Suckatcom, I have to say your voice leading is quite good, you move mainly by step, with good balance between parts and the registers are good to sing, so good job overall!

Some comments: 

1- Why doubling the bass to the octave on bars 14-16? I would keep just 4 parts all trought the piece (octave duplication don't add any new material). I would keep the upper octave you wrote there. You have also parallel 5ths at the end of that phrase between bass and tenor. You could just change the chord position bass going to from F to D and alto going from D to F on the beat before the halfcadence on EM to avoid that 5ths. 

2- The harmonies are nice, I would try thought to do some modulation or inflections to give more colour and contrast. It doesn't need to be complicated at all, just to give some variety, you could add some secundary dominants or a short modulating progression. But if your porpuse is to have static harmony, keep it like it is 🙂 

3- Your voices move mainly by step, which is nice, you handle good with the passing tones moving from one voice to another, but you can also try to add a couple of leaps to the inner parts to highlight them. You can try that when the bass is static to highlight the leaping voice (Ex. bar 15-16) or also when the bass is moving in the oposite direction to the leap and at least one of the other voices is static. 

4- You have some direct octaves between outer parts (bar 3), thought it's the end of a half phrase, probably if you add a silence there should be ok. Bars 13-14 also direct octaves (sopran-bass) In the previous repetition bars 5-6 you avoided the direct octaves placing the bass A in the higher octave. I would do the same there. 

Edited by Guillem82
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@Guillem82

1- I doubled the basses to give the singers an option because I personally can sing the upper split, but I like the sound of the lower split, which I can't sing, but maybe another bassist can sing a low E. 

2- I wanted it to be a simple Hymn my church can sing. low skill choir requires low skill music.

3- maybe something to work on

4- In real life they would pause because of the phrasing, I should've added a breath or pause symbol. I didn't really pay attention to direct octaves, I was mostly concerned with hiding direct 5ths with passing tones and not having parallel 5ths and octaves(between the other voices).

 

Thanks for your suggestions and comments. I will be trying to do more modulations in my music.

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If anything, the most concerning pairs of voices to have parallel fifths and octaves are those that include the bass so:

  • Bass - Tenor
  • Bass - Alto
  • Bass - Soprano

Other voice pairs are not so much to be concerned about as far as parallel fifths and octaves. It is sometimes inevitable that you will have parallel fifths and octaves between the Tenor and Alto or the Tenor and Soprano or even the Alto and Soprano(though that last one is more likely to have sixths or thirds.

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2 hours ago, i(don't)suckatcomposing said:

I disagree with that to some point. Yes its worse but parallel octaves are easy to fix.

 

But what if fixing the parallel octaves leads to a harmony that doesn't fit? I think I would rather have a few parallel octaves that I missed than a harmony that doesn't fit. In a contrapuntal setting that is. In your regular homophony, an unfitting harmony can lead to a brand new place.

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I don't think using parallel octaves as an excuse for laziness. You can play around and find solutions. I was taught in Theory class, if you run into a situation where you can't go forward without breaking a rule, go back and start in a different way, and you might solve it.

33 minutes ago, caters said:

I think I would rather have a few parallel octaves that I missed than a harmony that doesn't fit

Melody trumps the harmony, and when I want to use a specific harmony, the melody is just going to have to conform. But in a classical environment, you can hide direct 5th and octaves with passing tones but you can't hide parallel octaves, it just can't be done. (This is what I concluded from studying Bach Chorales, Bach often employs direct 5ths. just my opinion).

 

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