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mercurypickles

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Here's one of the first choral pieces I've ever completed. Feedback would be great, thanks.

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Frankly, this is a superb setting of the Ave verum.

I haven't studied your harmony in a critical way. It works. I wondered about the parallel 4ths in bar 17 but there was a transition when these were considered consonant and - simply - they work anyway.

Your choral writing is of a high standard - and thank you for posting a score as the rendering doesn't do the piece justice but with the score it's possible to "hear through" what's going on. The instances of imitation between parts were well done.

I was particularly impressed by your elongated Amen...reminded me of the William Smith Amens still sometimes sung and which are pretty elaborate. I felt it might proceed at a slightly faster tempo. Also it may be an idea to post the piece without the piano. On the one hand it helps set out the rhythm but on the other, the tuning of the voices is so exact, it isn't necessary.

Bravo!

 

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@QuinnI actually already made some revisions so I can post that. I shared this with some people and they said similar things about the Amen, so I will post the revised score and midi recording here. With the regard to the Amen, I actually made that double time expect for the last one to put more emphasis on it.

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This is very good work, especially for one of your first choral pieces. The vocal lines are all very singable and, despite the "free counterpoint" feel of most of the piece, there's still a good sense of melodic cohesion.

The big pauses help define the form and prevent the listener from getting lost. But you could try preceding some of them with more unresolved harmonies for more of a sense of momentum and continuity (as it is, I think the form stagnates a little because every section ends on some kind of D minor or F major harmony, both of which feel like a tonic in this key).

When setting a text in a language you don't speak, it's always good to say the words out loud (silly as it may seem) while you're coming up with melodies--and generally make sure you know where the emphasis happens on every word. Most of the text setting here was all right, but there were a few things that might seem awkward to someone familiar with this text (especially when you emphasize and draw out the first syllable of "Maria", even though the 2nd syllable of that word is emphasized in speech!)

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@NRKulusThank you for taking the time to comment and share your feedback. With regard to singability, I spent a lot of time making sure each line was doable on it's own. I've spent my entire life singing in choirs and know how easy it is to right something pretty near impossible to sing. I know that there were a couple of words that fell slightly strangely on certain notes, though I do believe that some of that comes down to the way the music was rendered, and is not entirely down to my writing, though that absolutely plays a factor.

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  • 4 months later...

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