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I guess the fact that you're asking for help with your music, but not showing anything of what you actually composed but some schemes you made, sums up the situation. This is very present in most of your pieces, you come up with some thorough explanations for every note you put on the page, but sometimes leave the "emotional" aspect of music composition to the side. Yes, you have an expressive goal with most your pieces, but you always seem to approach them as in a "let's see what reminds me of that in other people's music", followed by "I'll stirr all of that" fashion, if it makes any sense. It's not because you've identified those characteristics in other pieces that they will be of any use for you. As cliché as it might sound, try creating your own storm, without seeking into people's music for the tickboxes you have to fill.

Because you need to stop being so formulaic, and just write angry, intense music. These are just some of the ways. You can't say that The Four Seasons actually sounds like thunder, because it doesn't. It's a representation. Use what you know about thunderstorms to get it across. A heavy texture could also help - I don't know what instrumentation you're using though.