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Poem in A-flat major, "The Clockmaker"

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Here's a little piece of music for piano based upon a poem which I had previously written (attached below). Let me know what you think!

 

 

Not bad work. The ostinato in the left hand is nicely reminiscent of a ticking clock, but it is perhaps a little too incessant, repeating for over 2 minutes with very little change. I think it might benefit the piece to create some added interest. For instance, I might consider adding a section where the ostinato is played an octave higher in the right hand with the left hand playing a melody. But these are just my thoughts.
It would be a huge help to the composers who would like to review this piece if you uploaded a score to go with it, but I understand that uploading is a little tricky right now with the new site.

  • Author

Yeah, haha. I'm getting used to the changes! Anyway, thanks for the advice. I didn't want the piece too long specifically due to the ostentato, but I see your point!

Despite the left hand ostinato... I agree with fishyfry,... But the piece is so delicate that it is charming.

Umm, perhaps leaving as it is is a tru option, it really takes me to the idea of a clockmaker... anyway I enjoy it...

 

Beautiful and oddly haunting. As has been said, the LH may be a little too revolving around a single theme, but otherwise, lovely work. :)

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