"Starflowers" for voice and piano

UNFINISHED VERSION!

I am trying to compose one of my favourite poems for soprano or tenor voice (octave below), but I'm littlebit confused, right now.
I have never composed for solistic voice and accompainment before, only pure choral and some orchestral pieces I have worked. I'm asking for advice, if my work fits in some style of solistic pieces, because just like I said, I have no experience with solo, nor browsed any sheet of the "old masters" to have a look at how it works basically.
So the poem is about spring, and the first verses could make out a sleeping song too. This work is unfinished, I have 3 more verses, in which I'd like to use more themes, more joy and sadness, etc.
My question would be if it works well so far.

The lyrics are in Hungarian, so I try to make a freestyle translation. Here you go:

When Spring divides its kissis,
and within the greening forests, sunshine is present,
Waking up on the wet lawn,
Tiny, small, white stars of Earth.

To the velvet of the fields covered with dew,
Whitening and falling down thousands of starflowers,
And above, the wind blows softly, 
So the trees are waving at the edge of the forest.

(...)



 

First, I like this song. There are not harmonic surprises, but the melody is good, beautiful. The piano is correct, not complicated, but it goes well with the voice.

The melody is not operatic at all. With this range, it would be fine for a mezzo, or al alto. Yes, a sopran could sing it, but your highest note is a F#4, while a soloist sopran would reach a C5. So, in this middle tesitura, a mezzo would be better. I think it's good writing this way and not in the opposite, I mean, with very high and very low notes that, in the end, makes a piece no possible for an average singer. There is neither coloratura, but I don't think it's mandatory here. The melody is very sweet and peaceful, and I prefer the way you've written it.

I think that two important issues to bear in mind for solo voice are:

1) the style you want, which tells how to shape the melody and what kind of accompaniment is best

2) the range of the voice: stay mainly in the central range and go up or down for particular climax points

Thank you for fast reply!

I was also thinking about a chatarsis or fullfilment for the song, because the first two verses are introductory-like. I mean, nothing important happens or draws up. But in the end of the poem (which I did not translate) the moral and the conclusion of the entire piece comes up, and this is the point I would like to have this chatarsis, when the soloist reach higher and stronger (forte or fortissimo) notes and melodies.
But in the beginning, I think I used often pentatonic scales, lower sung melodies, and authentic-like  (from B minor to A major) terminations, where "sol" in solmsation is on the top by the singer, because I wanted to keep the mood of the verses. They're about mental and phisical peace, spring, rebirth, etc. which I associate with placidity.

Thank you for writing your ideas and remark, I really apprechiate them! I will definitely give the singer higher notes to sing and coloratura!
The bests!

I really quite liked this. There were a couple interesting changes, but I could just be thinking that because of how you tend to elongate certain parts of the progression at times; pretty cool stuff. To answer your question, what you have here does work... as you go on though, bear in mind that it should probably change tonality or atmosphere somewhere in the next section... what you had here in terms of a "beginning section" as you put it was great but it was just on the edge of too long of the same thing. That could just be me though. Very nice writing!