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Piano nocturne in d minor


ferdi9749
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Hello!

This is a finished piano piece in d minor...I just wanted some feedback and suggestions...Eventually if you can imagine new sections and developments that would be great to listen to! 

Thanks!

 

Edited by ferdi9749
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I fixed my browser issue and was finally able to view your video. The first thing I would like to see is more atmospherical and melodic development.

1:13 and 2:57: it is not a good idea to have the prominent presence of the leading tone in the soprano/melody and bass lines.

2:11: the chord change felt like it didn't quite go through

2:18: the piece felt like it was going to end, and then it continued

3:9: root position diminished triads sound harsh

3:13: the ear expects the dominant in the bass

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Overall I like it.

There can definitely be found some sadness.
At some places, I really heard Chopin. His influence on this piece is very clear.
The mood is nice and the melodies are good.

For me the piece did not sound finished at 2.18. In fact, I expected a return of the A theme and this happened, which is very satisfying.
Maybe an expression indication in the tempo like Andantino cantabile would help the performers with the interpretation.

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A nice approach to creating a music with a mood! I would suggest working on motivic development and variety for building the theme.Give a rhythmic introduction before exposing the melody.If the form is strophic - repeat it in a different register or tonality.If it is binar - add a more contrasting second theme.Thanks!

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@MusicianXX12 thanks for yur feedback! I repeated the slow theme an octave higher in the second part of the piece just to give it some emphasis...what technique would you use as rhytmic introduction before the theme? I started showing the bass configuration...and I can only think something like that. I am curious :)

 

@ilv thanks! Now it's clear...I'll keep that in mind :)

 

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2 hours ago, ferdi9749 said:

@MusicianXX12 thanks for yur feedback! I repeated the slow theme an octave higher in the second part of the piece just to give it some emphasis...what technique would you use as rhytmic introduction before the theme? I started showing the bass configuration...and I can only think something like that. I am curious :)

 

@ilv thanks! Now it's clear...I'll keep that in mind :)

 

 

I totally agree with you on the “bass configuration” before exposing the first theme, though I would make it a bit longer. The theme starting in m51 isn’t terribly contrasting – the same mood, the same tonality, almost the same tempo, and, first of all, the same, or almost the same, arpeggiated figures in the left hand. Even without creating a new rhythmic intro to the second theme, just by changing the pattern of the left hand accompaniment, the theme would get a much better stand out, IMHO. Thanks for allowing to discuss your music. The texture, harmony and voice leading is a separate topic. Again, I like your music for expressing a certain mood.

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