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When autumn passes by

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The slower 1st and last sections of the piece are nice. I don’t think it’s actually that “sad and melancholic”, though. A slow piece in a minor key does not always equal sad. This seems more somber and serious in tone than mournful and teary-eyed. Not that I’m complaining, I’m just stating how it sounded to me.

The language is simple. You do a good job with the limited amount of harmonies you use, but I’d highly recommend widening out in your harmonic language. This doesn’t pass as minimalism, where it actually benefits the piece to have “less” development, so to speak.

I have to be honest: I did not like your loud part toward the end at all. It’s just a bunch of chords played at a somewhat faster tempo, at high and low octaves. It’s not forceful enough to be powerful and driving, it’s not varied enough to be engaging. Even rhythmic syncopation, putting accents on offbeats, could have possibly worked. But as it is, It’s just kind of ... there, and seems forced.

This critique probably sounds more harsh than it really is. My suggestion would be to trim the fat off this piece, and keep it shorter, and to the point, probably to about 3-4 minutes would be best, and then move on to your next composition. Keep writing 🙂

Thank you for sharing with us 🙂

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  • 2 months later...

A couple times within here you do the "repetition of a dissonant figure is okay as long as it's repeated" thing, which is fine in some circumstances, but doesn't work here because of the stratification of your registers. It's also not alluded to ever happening because of the style changes.
The section at 3:50 is completely unnecessary. Sounds like an improvisation where the player was unsure of where to go from the tonic chord. We don't hear it in relation to E anyway, so the direct modulation interpretation makes it sound incomplete.

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