MrLernerAndLoewe

I was correct in my explanation of the vertical aspect but not the horizontal aspect which is equally if not more important :)

Thanks so much for the thoughtful advice :) I think I'm going to reharmonize the C7#9 with Cm7. After much listening it does feel awkward. I think theoretically and aurally why it feels awkward is because the D# in the melody never really resolves. I've learned that tensions usually resolve via stepwise motion in a downwards or upwards direction (a suspension and a retardation) but very rarely if ever by skip especially seeing that my #9 resolves up by a skip of a seventh to C. The repeated hammering of the #9 doesn't help either thanks so much for helping me figure it out.

Thanks @Monarcheon you are such a great critic and reviewer! I'm going to respond to each of the comments with my thoughts in hopes of clearing anything up or asking any questions, etc. 1) I didn't like the sound of the swing eighths on the introduction and in general I don't like the sound of too much syncopation so maybe I guess I'm displaced among genres :( I feel that syncopation takes away the beautiful qualities of a melody at times and rarely use it when I write. What I'm trying to say is that I love the sound of jazz harmony but not the rhythmic part. 2) I understand what you're saying about the two consecutive fermatas It does get a little lengthy. That was the end of the intro so I felt it necessary to kind of slowly sway into the main ABAC form. I guess what you're trying to say about chord enhancers is to throw in a little arpeggio or idea to lead into the ABAC form right? 3) I don't know whether it's your ears or mine but the C7-Cm7 clash is not really a clash from what I understand. It is actually called a C7#9 harmony that is an innovation of the jazz idiom. In fact, Jimi Hendrix (not really a jazzy performer/writer) made it mainstream with his song "Purple Haze" dubbing the Purple haze chord name. It must be that my ears are more accustomed to jazz than yours are or maybe you're right maybe it does the kill the mood. Anyways it is sure worth considering. 4) Ending on the "Augmented 11th" is very common in jazz harmony it creates a sense of drama at the end of a composition just as you hear very loud endings to symphonic movements. The harmony in this context is called Ebmaj7#11. With regards to my melody I wasn't really going for a jumpy bebop melody I was shooting for a vocal melody that utilizes quarter notes and half notes and almost no eighth notes (except in the introduction as a result of melodic embellishment). As this is after all a song that it meant to be sung rather than played by a saxophone player at 200 bpm such as sonny rollins or john coltrane. Sorry for ranting so much I gladly appreciate your comments and your listening :)

I love the sound of this piece so much!!! Stride in the left hand? Check Nice use of block chords/octaves as a textural variation? Check Amazing motives (especially the very original and catchy motive starting in bar 14)? Check This is also very reminiscent of Fats Waller, Scott Joplin, etc. which are very good names to be compared to. With regards to it being classified as ragtime or jazz in my opinion there is a decent overlap between the two just as there is a decent overlap between musical theater and opera, etc.

I wrote this song precisely last year and arranged it for an orchestra for this website and now here it is in a mellower format, that of a jazz piano arrangement with a brush drum kit. I think it sounds nice overall. I had this song reviewed professionally by a multi award winning songwriter who gave me a B+ for the musical grade so enjoy! As always advice will be appreciated!

Thanks for the replies guys! @Monarcheon With regards to the chord practicality I am writing this score as a sketch for an ensemble of brass, woodwinds, etc. So I wasn't necessarily thinking about the piano's ability to play the large voicings on the score. I am not a terrific piano player anyways. But I do understand that yes those voicings are difficult to play especially with the tenths in the left hand and the sprawling doubled lead voicings in the right hand. With regards to adding more motion. I'm thinking of changing the inner voices a little more by either changing the disposition to allow for more motion or by adding another contrapuntal line. Does this sound like a good solution? I don't want to add the oom-pah (stride) rhythm because it would detract from the sustained texture I want for the intro. @Luis Hernández Thanks for the input as well. I remember you from your post on my lullaby piano piece and must say you are usually pretty thorough with your reviews :) When you're saying the progression is standard I understand what you're saying how there is just many secondary II-V tonicizations. From my understanding of your post it sounds like I need to reharmonize the chord progression with more colors and motion (as suggested by the other reviewer). Maybe the harmonic rhythm should be more active (a chord every two beats) rather than the current chord for two bars then two chords for two bars. Would this solve the lack of motion and variety? With regards to the lack of variety in the melodic line I wrote the ascending sequences as a tension builder into bar 11 where the variety starts to appear.

Hello! it has been a while since I've posted something on this site. I want to get the ball rolling again so here is a jazz song in AABA form that I have been working on. Now, I feel as though it may be profitable for myself to post the song/arrangement in increments so that I don't rush the song as a whole and can get detailed feedback on all the content in each section (the principle of focus and fragmentation I guess :P) First of all I am going to post the introduction of the song. (Hence this post) I will provide a lead sheet of the melody/harmony for the rest of the song and a score for the current section I am writing. In other words I think I have written the melody and harmony out sufficiently I just need to arrange it with voicings and counterpoint, etc. With regards to this intro I feel as though my first 8 measures of the intro are interesting with the basic but effective counterpoint and the harmony that flows with it. I am going for a sustained intro that doesn't have support of the hypothetical rhythm section. I'm thinking of adding the rhythm section after the intro ends which I feel is typical and effective in jazz arrangements. My gut tells me that in the second half of the intro the texture spaces out more with practically no counterpoint but I feel it maintains its drive through the concerted/block harmonies. I would gladly appreciate comments on the voice-leading as I am still learning/practicing this. Feel free to prove me wrong and tell me things other than what I am thinking about the piece as I would love for this piece to grow into the next "The Shadow of Your Smile" or "Stella by Starlight", etc.

Wow! I have to admit when I read that this was in the style of Mantovani I was immediately interested. I love that "easy listening" sound that Mantovani brings to the table. I love the sound of the harmony in this piece especially the clusters from what I hear. This piece does feel like it also takes you on a journey with the pictures and the pauses in the music. The part around the five minute mark made me nervous :P My only criticism about the piece is that it sounds a tad dissonant to be compared to an arranger such as Mantovani. Also, from what I've heard of Mantovani, he does a lot of Jazz standard arrangements that are much shorter in length and rely more heavily on orchestration and sharing the melody with different instruments. Those are my thoughts :)

Thank you guys so much for the feedback and criticism of the piece! With regards to Luis, the odd dissonance created at 1:29 is not a performance mistake, I wrote that dissonance as a part of the melody the melody is actually based around many retardations and suspensions with the 9-1 and 9-3 suspensions/retardations being most prominent therefore the dissonance by design is a b9-1 suspension which I know to classical musicians is very dissonant. Basically the idea was to dial the tension up at that point and to create melodic variety. Thanks so much yet again for the feedback!

I've never heard this piece before the reupload and I can say that I think it is pretty good. Here's my analysis and criticism: The overture mainly has two themes from what I heard (which sounds crazy given that the piece is 14 minutes!) However, this is not bad at all because for the most part I felt like the 14 minutes flew by The string introduction sounds very fitting to a battle which results in tragedy and victory, etc. In other words, the harmony and melody sounds grim but happy at the same time (nice!) The string introduction has a wealth of interesting dissonances created by the descending line. (also good!) The bad thing about the string introduction is that it gets a little lengthy due to the lack of change in the textures (i.e mainly a sustained intro). However the dissonant harmony makes up a great deal. I love the sound of the percussion and how it leads into the up tempo section/themes. The themes played by the brass, etc. sounds great and is far better than the string introduction in my opinion although that is saying a lot because I loved the string introduction. Although I loved the sound of the original string introduction, the reiteration sounds a bit unnecessary but that's just me. I can hear that you changed the octave displacement to change the texture a little bit. Finally, nice choice of art to represent the visual of the battle to your music. Great job!

This is an excellent jazz ballad! As Luis said, the small arrangement with piano and bass sounds fine on its own. The main theme used in the introduction is awesome with the leading ii-V harmony and the active melody. My only criticism would be the melody in the verse(s). As I stated the chorus melody is excellent however the melody in the verse utilizes motivic repetition a little too much even though it sounds like the melody utilizes some form of rhythmic displacement there. For me the displacement isn't enough as it sounds too similar to the original motive there. The lyrics aren't bad at all. They could use a little more development to my uneducated, lyrical ears. But there again this site seems to be more about composition anyway as both are different art forms (lyrics and composition). Aside from all these comments I can say without a doubt and will back Luis on the fact that your voice is excellent in that low register. The vibrato is definately there as well. Great job!

This is a lullaby I wrote a while back that I recorded and performed myself granted I am not a concert pianist :P I feel it sounds similar to maybe Dave Grusin or something of that sort other than being a lullaby. It's You I Adore.mp3 My personal criticisms: Maybe too many block chords Overusing the pedal, however it does enforce that soothing feel. Maybe too slow however yet again it reinforces the form of the lullaby. Now for your feedback and listening :)

Yea I have a lot of people tell me that I am weird to like this "old-fashioned music" lol but the truth is I love this music so much that I don't really understand why it faded under modern forms given the prominence it used to have.

Although I am not well acquainted with fugue writing, I can say that this sounds amazing. I love the rhythm in the opening motives with the combination of rests between the attacks could listen to that part many times. Plus the whole piece sounds positively playful and jumpy. I also like the dissonant harmonies during the halfway point. The only remote criticism (if I am qualified to give) is that the melody seems a bit angular at times and could not be adapted for anything other than this form. However, that being said this is a very advanced form anyways and it doesn't seem that you were going for anything of the cantabile nature. I am a guy that has an affinity for cantabile melodies but this piece is one I would allow as an exception to my affinity :)

And yes I will definitely check out your music as criticism and music talk must be mutual :)

Thanks again for replying with feedback and I love how you listened to one of the songs from the original 1950's version. With regards to the music I wrote and how I wrote it. The melody came to my head a long time ago and just filled itself out naturally ( I find that melody comes easier than harmony to me at least). After I came up with the melody I harmonized it with basic harmonies that I aurally discovered. I think the basic changes or chord progression in other terms was: A Cmaj7 | % | Dm7 | % | G7 | % | Cmaj7 | % B Em7 | A7 | Dm7 | G7 | Em7 | A7(b9) | Ab7 | G7 A Same as previous section C Am7 | Ab7 | Cmaj7 | A7(b9) | Dm7 | G7 | Dm7 G7 | C6 Then I reharmonized the A section only because I felt like the other two sections were decent The reharmonization thus became Cmaj7 | C#dim7 | Dm7 | Dm(maj7) | Dm7 | G7 | Cmaj7 | C6 BTW the Dm(Maj7) is more of a contrapuntal elaboration. The harmony took some more thought and effort than the melody as I stated previously. So yes I wrote all of the content on my own. :) I didn't steal or copy the changes or anything, I don't pride myself in doing that as I love music too much to do something like that :) Thanks again for the reply

Thanks for the comment and feedback ken! I've always been kind of afraid of submitting my work on here because I see you guys are more advanced in terms of orchestration, etc. So I didn't know where I would fit in. With regards to the film it is actually a film that has been remade 3 times with the notable musical version being from the 50's with Judy Garland and James Mason. If you want to here a hit song from the film google or search "The Man That Got Away". This is the main song from the 50's version which is far better than mine lol. Harold Arlen had a lot more experience than me at my current point. With regards to the song yes I did write the music. The lyrics are my own as well but I don't really know how to write lyrics because it seems like another craft on its own. Now a question on the orchestration. What do you mean when the orchestra could use a little finesse? Is it the lack of legato I was referring to with the samples? Or is it the lack of background lines, changing of textures? If you would be so kind, what specifically led you to the conclusion that the orchestration lacked finesse? As for the high strings yes I know I love the sound of those high strings! :) They sound great to me especially when the melody reaches the climax on the A7(b9) chord. That sound is what really hits home for me. I think the sample on Instant orchestra is a double octave sample which seems like it has layered solo strings for vibrato purposes as well. Anyways thanks for the feedback! :)

This is an overture I might use for a pretend musical adaptation of a "A Star Is Born". I really love the movie so I thought I would write a bunch of songs to go with it and make it into a musical in some manner for fun. Although I haven't finished writing all of the songs. This overture contains the main song "I've Often Thought Of You" which is arranged in two different ways the first way being a humorous arrangement to symbolize the character Norman Maine's comical behavior when under the influence of alcohol and the second arrangement being more romantic and sentimental to accompany the lovely relationship between Norman Maine and Vicki Lester. I don't know how to orchestrate very well. To be honest I used Garritan's Instant Orchestra to get the sound so don't hate on me too much :P. I am not entirely satisfied with the sound of the orchestra at some points because it sounds like it lacks legato. I don't have a score because I don't know how to legitimately orchestrate however I will provide a lead sheet with the melody and harmony. Ignore the lyrics they have some typos and are not complete. A Star Is Born Overture.mp3