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edfgi234

Nocturne in Eb major

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I don't think this is really a nocturne, but I composed it with the night in mind. It doesn't really flow that well in my opinion, but not really sure how to fix that. Please do let me know where to improve, as I do think this piece does need to be changed.

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58 minutes ago, edfgi234 said:

I composed it with the night in mind

I think that's what's important.

If noct is the night it doesn't mean it has to be a classic accepted by all night.

There are many kinds of nights and that's your night.

Will give it a listen now.

 

It does flow.

The only thing that bothers me is the fact that you didn't return to your A even once after the bridge.

There's a short part with all these triplets, and instead of developing it further you introduce a new material and stick to it to the end.

It's not wrong, it's just like... you're not using a composer tool.

If a builder won't use... say a hammer building a house,

and will knock down nails with a screwdriver instead...

it might work in it's own way, but the house could be better if he used the hammer instead.

Ok hammer is a kind of important tool so maybe that's not the best example.

You can keep it that way but, if there's anything wrong here, I think that's it.

 

My suggestion-

throw it there.

It would be extremely difficult to match triplet sixteenth with normal ones,

so I don't think that you should put them in the same bar.

But try and mix them, it might create an interesting rhythmic feel.

About throwing it there-

when someone looses his ear a new one can be made in a lab 

(god my examples today are terrible).

Even if in the beginning it won't connect,

the body will accept it with time.

"Save as" your file under the name "expiriment1".

Now take that rhythm and just put it there,

and see if you can sew it there.

 

Ok that might have been a bad feedback,

I hope you find some helpful advice in that mess.

 

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I get what you mean. I should make sure to bring back the main theme, section A, before the piece ends. Also try to use a mix of both triplets and normal in the return of the theme. Fair play the first example was good, the second was crazy. Cheers for the feedback, I will incorporate it into the piece.

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I agree with what a nocturne is. It is what comes to your mind and heart felling the "night" (which can be almost anything).

What I see here is like two different pieces. It's true that no going back to the first materials gives that sensation. Again, it's not wrong, you can do what you want. In all, I like it, it's beautiful.

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