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Nocturne in D minor


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I hope you enjoy this, please leave a comment and tell me what you think!

Edited by mercurypickles
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  • 1 month later...

I have returned… (red carpet rolls out, doves fly, photographs taken — it’s a whole event 😂)

 

Ok, I really like the opening theme. I think the beginning of the melody with the 16th notes actually work better than the MIDI presents, because with just a hint of slowing rubato there, it would sound pretty atmospheric. 
 

Ms. 5 is cool, and I like the descending thirds. I think there was no reason to cut the 3rds in the middle of the scale, though. I would recommend filling out the harmonies from that point, and also add either 3rds or 6ths on the first couple of beats in ms. 6. It seems to make sense thematically. I especially found ms. 9 awkward, in particular the E and F crunched together moving to a lone F doesn’t really work here. My recommendation would be this: keep the melody the way it is, and staring from the bottoms notes of the 5-rhythm, using these notes: Bb, G, E, F, C#. This kind of outlines a diminished chord that gives it just a little more harmonic strength, without losing the mysterious air of the piece.

 

I think the passage at ms. 12 could work, but I would recommend adding a long, sustained treble chord over the bass. Actually, a straightforward A chord of E-A-C# seems to work really well!

 

All in all, I actually really like the piece — it’s got potential and rough edges, but the material is cool. Thanks for sharing! 😊

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  • 2 weeks later...

I apologize but I cannot really understand this piece. I mean, it tries to be a well constructed romantic piece, but what i hear doesn't convince me. Is it the audio? Is it the piece? I cannot tell, but to me it really looks as if it's a clear lack of "ear" on this piece. There's some good ideas, melodically talking, but It does sound bad to me. It's kinda as when i was starting to compose, I lacked this ability to find when something sounds wrong in a sense of style or not. This music doesn't sound right to me, but that doesn't mean it's bad, just giving my opinion.

So don't take it to heart, maybe it's me the one wrong, but this could be improved a lot.
Maybe I can try to help you with that if it's okay for you.

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