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Thank you for your two very touching comments. The 5/8 has actually imposed itself, in the double idea of constant imbalance, of a shaky race towards an impossible love. I didn't want it to seem like a free rhythm game (and I almost didn't want it to be noticed). And you have indeed perceived the subtexts that are in this poem, where we are already on the edge of expressionism. His tensions where the carnal and the metaphysical are tied. The entire last cycle of Jules Laforgue (imitation of Our Lady of the Moon) is haunted by this theme. An exile of love, a mourning of love, a throbbing pain, a frustration, and a feverish incandescence. He was probably already very affected by tuberculosis when he wrote this, since it was shortly before his death at the age of 27. And also well seen, I like to sow here and there some "turns" among other secret messages, which are a little Schubertian necessarily (when you have a piano, singing, you want to talk about Love and pain, how else?). Thank you in any case for your deep listening. It makes me immensely happy to know that my music is heard by such benevolent ears. I'm not done with Laforgue... -
Chopin background with difficulties within difficulties the transition to the blues section was impressive. the reversion less so imo. but then I have no solutions I also felt the 2nd movement theme is a bit out of place in the middle of the piece, but then you do need it being there to prime for the coda for this theme to come out one last time -
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By PeterthePapercomPoser · Posted
Hello @develop331 and welcome to the forum! I love this piece's subtlety and how sublime it is! The choral dissonances are very affecting and the orchestra adds just the right touch of ominousness at times. You sound like you know what you're doing harmonically and melodically with a clear leading melodic line and well-fitted harmonies underneath including inversions and open voicings of chords. I'm just giving my first impression on listening without a score btw. I also agree that cantamus could take your rendition to the next level. I also hear that you seem to be using different kinds of harmonic voicings for the choir and different voicings for the orchestra which is (I think) the right approach in this kind of piece. I don't often write for voices though. I played French Horn in college and university and I have to say that it's actually quite common to see bass clef in French Horn literature as it has a huge range! The only confusion about that is whether the particular literature is using old style bass clef notation or new - there's an octave difference between the two. But the 2nd and 4th horns in the orchestra are especially likely to encounter bass clef and there are actually different players that specialize in different ranges of the horn more, often buying different mouthpieces to better accommodate the sound and ease of playing they want to accomplish in the range in which they most often play. The Clarinet on the other hand does stay in treble clef only, opting to only use ledger lines (much like guitar except that Clarinet is a transposing instrument while guitar only transposes at the octave). Thanks for sharing and I hope to see more of your contributions on the forum! You could also listen to other composers' pieces and give us your opinion! Kind regards, -
By kaiyunmusic · Posted
hi @PeterthePapercomPoser, thank you for your constructive feedback and thank you for explaining how to figure out the meter again! I keep getting it wrong xD I'm working on my next summer piece and am already confused on what the meter should be. For the ending of Star Away, I was going for a something fading away in the far distance. 🙂 I would love to try making lo-fi music one day, but I have no experience with beats as you can probably tell from my struggle with meters 😅 -
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