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  1. 1 like
    This was my entry from way back when we did the first theme challenge using luderart's melody. I've since re-written it and I'm just so darn fond of it I decided it should be the first work I upload to the newly refurbished site. New feedback would be cool, but it's not like I haven't already gotten quite a bit before. I think right now we're just trying to make this whole thing not look so empty. And so without further ado, here is my "Ludey" piece. EDIT: Oh so fun fact: The last notes of this piece are the first notes I wrote as the accompaniment for the theme when I first sketched this out (in the left hand at measure 6). It's not that significant but I thought a work I started based on someone else's melody would be better ended on my own notes, so to speak.
  2. 1 like
    Again, my problem is the same as with Lentamente, le prime foglie verde pallido, the high notes you request are really very, very, VERY high. The high G6 you request is the highest ever written in the classical operatic register (something of Mozart's, if I recall correctly) - higher notes were written for specific singers in later times. If I am not mistaken, the highest note ever sung was a Bb6, which is not far from what you want here. At the least, I feel the whole of the voice part should be shifted down a fifth, and that would already be quite demanding. I noticed you wrote if able under the last cadenza, which is good in itself - you could consider writing an ossia. But I must impress on you the very small odds of someone singing the original part... I very much appreciate the kind of Baroque touch to the melody, as well as the whole of the musical structure of the piece. On the text, again just a few things - mainly in terms of syntax. I would write it like this: Il mìo pràto di pàce, La mìa òasi nel desèrto, Ìo ti terrò sèmpre vicìna Nei tèmpi di dolòre e paùra In terms of adapting the music to the lyrics, I would recommend avoiding upward movements and long f holds on the last syllable of a word (b. 39, 66, 81 etc.) because it gives the impression the syllable is stressed, when actually in spoken Italian (and prose, at that) it wouldn't be natural to stress it. Although I understand you don't want your line to sound like a recitative either, this will make for a song that does not sound native. For reference I marked the stressed syllables in the text, but as you probably know they are not to be written out normally (except terrò which is a future tense). Anyway, as always, very good work. I enjoyed it a lot.